Never look Back
by I Kazuki
Summary: Rei and Shinji begin to appreciate each other, Matriel battles Hikari, while SEELE's wrath is felt. Kaji and Misato discover more about SEELE...
1. Departure

Disclaimer: I have no rights to Neon Genesis Evangelion, no rights to anything, not even the right to life. In any case, I'm not making any profit and all characters and situations are the property of the gods over at SEELE *cough* I mean, GAINAX. What's that? I haven't paid rent this month? You're going to do WHAT!? *ahghem* gomen ne ^.^  
  
Author's Note: Alright yes, this is something of a departure from the main, but what if the first and third children had a chance to change their lives and choose their own destiny? Will they be free of manipulation, or run the rest of their lives, and never turn back? Will they experience love, or find themselves again forced to ignore such things? As for some minor details, I have messed a bit with the exact timeline, but this is roughly after the seventh angel, and I do make more allusions to the Japanese (rather than English) version of Eva. (i.e. "Miss Honor Student" instead of "Wondergirl" because I really dislike the English version.) Well, don't kill me, alright? And no, I do not consider Rei/Shinji to be related in any way, shape or form, except for the fact that their DNA is similar. Chances are MY DNA is a closer match to YOURS as Shinji's was to Rei's. Hope you understand. Arigato gozaimasu!  
  
NERV Headquarters Facility  
  
Tokyo-3  
  
Beneath the layers of earth and metal that composed the top part of the megalithic Geofront, NERV existed. It was secret, and it was confidential. It was the most advanced weapons deployment facility in the world-the last stand for humanity in the face of such trying times for a world still caught in the potential death knell that was Second Impact. Here, the line between reality and dream and prophecy did not exist-by mandate of the powers that be. Because of this, precautions were always taken, and things accounted for.  
  
The people on the main command center of NERV knew this quite well though they may have been oblivious to the prophecies surrounding their circumstances. It was here that the monitoring and deployment of the Humanoid Fighters called Evangelion was conducted. For each Eva a pilot, and for each pilot, a story, a life, and a need.  
  
Ikari Shinji stood placidly near his guardian, Katsuragi Misato, his cool cobalt eyes staring with disinterest at the goings on of the place that he knew best these days. He was too tired and frankly too disgusted by what it meant to be a pilot of Eva to care anymore about the small details. Today the capable fair-haired scientist Dr. Akagi Ritsuko had carried out a synchronization test to keep track of the pilots' melding with their respective Eva units. Shinji found that he was getting better and better at becoming one with Eva-though he detested the feeling inside of him when he did so even more with each passing day. It was as if a small, yet important part of him was being consumed inside the entry plug every day, slowly leaving him helpless in the face of circumstance. He did *not* want to be here. It was his duty, they said. His obligation to the human race.  
  
The youth turned and spoke to Misato, whom he desperately hoped would at least let him leave for the day and get the obnoxious odor of LCL off of him.  
  
"Um.Misato-san?" asked Shinji quietly from behind the NERV Captain, who was speaking to the Lieutenant Ibuki Maya, the assistant to Dr. Akagi. He waited for a response from the dark lavender-haired Captain and had to repeat himself to be heard.  
  
"Hai. Shinji-kun? What is it?" Misato turned away from Maya with a last nod of her approval as the head of planning and faced her charge, Ikari Shinji, with a warm expression, wondering what made the boy seem so on-edge this day. Oh, she knew he was on-edge, he always was. But this day he seemed different, as he needed to be away from NERV. She could sympathize. And the brooding presence of Shinji's father, Commander Ikari Gendo, staring coldly from his station, did not help matters much at all. Instead, they exacerbated them.  
  
"Misato-san, I mean, Katsuragi-chii, can I go home now, please?" inquired Shinji pleadingly. He wanted to get back and listen to his SDAT and see if he could get out of this funk he'd been in for the last week. It seemed no matter what he did he was still feeling incredibly ill-at-ease.  
  
"Alright. But be sure to have dinner ready by the time Asuka and I get home. I don't think Pilot Sohryu would appreciate having to wait for her dinner." Added Misato with a little bit of derision. It was somewhat fun to tease Shinji about the discord between what the students at Tokyo-3 municipal high school called a 'lovers' spat'. Shinji and Asuka's bickering seemed to prove an invaluable source of entertainment during the more boring days of working at NERV and Terminal Dogma.  
  
Shinji nodded without much of a response to the obvious bait Misato had thrown him, but instead, turned and walked out of the command level and began to head for the showers.  
  
Once he was out of the showers, no longer reeking of the copper-and-mercury bloodlike stench of the LCL, Shinji dressed into his school clothes and began the trek to the train station so that he could get home. The train arrived almost as he came to the station, providing little wait. From his backpack, Shinji produced his SDAT and began to tune the rest of the world out.  
  
Getting home proved to be an easy task and so did cooking dinner. Unfortunately, dinner meant more time with Asuka, who seemed to be in the kind of mood to rag on Shinji. Shinji, in turn, didn't so much as give her the chance to be exploited that day. Instead, he minded his own business and ate silently with his chopsticks and waited for Asuka to bring up the subject of the class trip to Okinawa.  
  
"So, have you decided, Misato? Are you going to let us go?" Asuka was asking from across the major around a mouthful of food. Misato, for her part, was draining a Yebisu, looking quite distracted. At the mention of the trip however, her eyebrows lifted suspiciously.  
  
"I'm sorry, but you're all on alert. What if an Angel-" Misato never finished.  
  
"And what IF an Angel came? We could just leave a backup pilot to cover us while two of us went to Okinawa. Besides, I need a vacation! How can you Japanese live without vacations? I'm sure Kaji-san would agree with me." Asuka tried to justify herself by giving Misato one of her more haughty looks, almost turning away from her as if she could already see the rejection coming.  
  
"Hmm. That's brilliant Asuka!" Misato began to grin fiendishly. By now, Shinji had lifted his eyes from the dreary vista of his plate and was paying closer attention. "Since the First and Third Children have been the ones working the hardest and have faced together ALL the Angels thus far, the majority of the strain, the Second Children-you-will stay behind as to protect Tokyo-3 from harm." Misato could barely keep from laughing at how easily Asuka had been cornered into that one. She knew she'd protest, but Ayanami and Shinji-kun hadn't had so much as of a break in the last couple of months. In fact, the only real resting time either had experienced was in the NERV hospital ward.  
  
Asuka's eyes widened with horror as she realized her little ploy to get Shinji stranded in Tokyo-3 was backfiring. She sputtered, then regained her mental footing. "You mean that baka is going instead of me? I'm the best pilot out of the three of us! I should have the right to at least a class trip! Why is baka-Shinji getting to go anyhow, his synch rate is lower than mine!"  
  
"Asuka." Misato chided in a parental fashion which served to annoy Asuka even more, "I took your idea and made a decision. You're going to be stationed at NERV while Shinji-kun and Ayanami go with the class. And they deserve it, they've been taking the burden since day one."  
  
"Agh! Schiesse! And I was going to try to impress those idiot guys at school with my womanliness. Ah well. Damn." Asuka moved to get up, and then noticed that Shinji had the faintest of smirks on his face. She nearly went berserk like an Eva Unit on cocaine. Lots of it. "What are YOU looking at, Baka-Shinji? Get that stupid smile of your face!" Then Asuka's mind did a little flip, and her western European features became a bit more snide, and a grin spread across her face."Actually, go. I don't care. It just means that I'm going to be doing the real work. That's what the best pilots are for, right? You'll see, you little baka, I'm going to teach you a lesson in humility!"  
  
Shinji hastily composed himself and even sat up straighter, but as soon as Asuka was turned he was already smiling. So was Misato. Secretly Misato acknowledged to herself that no, she wasn't being fair, but sometimes being nice and being fair were two distinctively different things. For now she didn't even consider what was *right*. She still needed the Commander's okay on this and that would be hard to get.  
  
Terminal Dogma Upper Level - Office of the Supreme Commander NERV Headquarters - Tokyo 3  
  
Ikari Gendo stared out from behind his reflective Hugo Boss sunglasses, the orange tint-none too far from that of the repulsive LCL-shading his view of the outside world while painting a noticeably sinister look to him. His face was completely blank except for the hammering, penetrating gaze that swept across the vast chamber and finally fell upon a certain subordinate. His hands were folded beneath his nose and he looked as if he could chew bulkhead and serve up metallic paste. However, something about Commander Ikari that was constant was that he *never* looked pleased, and angry was about the only thing one could describe him as. No, it was not the rage and fury of most men; his was the cold, ice ire that hung palpably in the air like a stale odor.  
  
"Katsuragi-chii, am I being asked to allow two of our most experienced pilots-in fact, both of them-to be absent from duty for a week? That is unacceptable." Ikari said from behind his very well known pose. His tone was an icy gale in the already frigid chamber that was his office. He was obviously reluctant, considering that NERV itself was undergoing budget cuts by the UN at the time, and he himself was beginning to feel the impatience of the Committee. Not to mention SEELE itself. The old men were pressuring him for results on the Completion of Humanity project. Unfortunately, he was about 3 percent behind the scenario, at least in terms of keeping with the scenario provided him in the Dead Sea Scrolls by SEELE.  
  
"Hai, Commander Ikari, I believe that a vacation is in Rei and Shinji-kun's best interest, in terms of mental and physical health," replied Misato unfazed by the coldness in the other's stare.  
  
Gendo seemed to consider this, however, he'd already come to a conclusion. The idea had been previously discussed with Dr. Akagi, and personally concluded that Captain Katsuragi was indeed correct-but for different reasons. This would also give him opportunity to examine the abilities of the Second Child first hand. So he agreed.  
  
"Very well then, Katsuragi-chii, they may go. Consider it an order. And inform the second children she is to report to Akagi-hakushei for today's synchronization test." He finished, dismissing the captain. Afterwards, when the woman was already out the door, Sub-commander Kouzou Fuyutsuki spoke up from behind him.  
  
"Are you sure that was wise, Ikari-kun? The scenario says---" the elder man began but was promptly silenced with an offhand wave of a gloved hand and a stern comment.  
  
"That we need not overestimate the power of the 8th and 9th angels." Gendo leaned back in his chair slightly, giving Fuyutsuki a sidelong glance.  
  
*One day you're going to have to realize you're fallible, Ikari.* thought Kouzou to himself behind a mask of dissatisfaction. The only problem was, that day would mean his own end too.  
  
Departure Terminal  
  
Tokyo-3 International Airport  
  
The next two days were spent in packing and preparation for the trip to the island of Okinawa on the western Japanese coast in the East China Sea. Swimwear needed seeking, and packing needed doing. Misato needed to organize the section 2 team that would watch over Rei and Shinji-kun, and she had to make sure that the facility was running at top standard to allow for the absence of two thirds of their active pilots. This meant that there was a large amount of work that needed to be done to bring the entire installation up to speed.  
  
Commander Ikari had been surprisingly pliant with the request, and approved it with a wave, explaining it away as a need for 'pilot morale' and silently congratulated the major on a rather ingenious way to smite the arrogant redhead girl. She would become a threat one day to Instrumentality.  
  
With this in the mind of Ikari Gendo as he watched from the tinted glass of his Bentley as the group of students from Tokyo-3 Municipal High School disembarked from the charter bus and disappeared into the airport. A few VTOL aircraft could be observed in the distance, part of the intensive security arrangement the JASDF had with the airport in conjunction with NERV and the UN. However, Ikari managed to put as little support into it as possible. It was deemed 'non-essential' from early on.  
  
The Commander watched as his son, Pilot Ikari, and Rei got off last and began to walk into the airport. Neither even really acknowledged the presence of the other, as they were supposed to. Fraternization between pilots was a potential problem no commander particularly liked, and Ikari was adamantly opposed to any fraternization that was non-essential. Especially between *these* pilots.  
  
He would have to wait and see,  
  
Due South West of Tokyo-3, Elevation, 10,000m  
  
Shinji had never actually flown before. He really never had reason to. His life had consisted of a simple existence where he just 'was' for long periods of time, in small apartments, with various teachers throughout most of the time leading up to his residence in Tokyo-3 and work under his father. *Father*, he thought somberly, *why is he so distant with me? And why does he treat Rei so familiarly?*. He knew he'd never get an answer to that one as he looked out to the clear blue skies.  
  
As fate would have it, the flight was a crowded one, even if one didn't factor in the presence of the school students and their teacher-chaperone and their class representative, Horaki Hikari. Furthermore, an unexpected twist happened. While he'd been hoping that maybe he'd wind up sitting next to Touji and Kensuke, he found himself sitting in the most unlikely of locations: in the seat next to Ayanami Rei.  
  
The girl was still wearing her school uniform, prim and proper, but apparently without much beforehand consideration on the issue. She stared blankly at the seat back ahead of her unerringly, her crimson eyes fixated. Her attention seemed to be nowhere, and Shinji didn't dare disrupt her, afraid to offend her or make her angry. So he simply squeezed into his corner as far as he could from the ice-blue haired young woman with pale, creamy skin and watched the clouds roll by below with boredom. Flying, as he'd discovered, was overrated. He wasn't allowed to use his SDAT on the flight because it was one of the various kinds of electronic devices whose use was prohibited during active flight.  
  
If Shinji was agitated, Ayanami was definitely the visage of passivity. From time to time Shinji caught himself sneaking a look or two at her to find the girl still staring blankly, blinking from time to time.  
  
Eventually, when they were breaking past the mainland and into the East China Sea, Shinji worked up the nerve to actually *talk* to her. The experience was terrifying yet exciting. He'd barely spoken a few paragraphs' worth of words to her since they'd met months ago. He was interested in finding out more about her, and perhaps, about his father.  
  
"Uh, Ayanami?" his voice was tremulous.  
  
A cool, soft, somehow melodic voice responded immediately, completely aware, "Hai, Ikari-kun, nani?" *what is it?*  
  
"Ayanami, why did you decide to come to Okinawa with us? I mean..um.You never seem to like doing things outside of NERV. Why now?" Shinji asked in all honesty. It puzzled him how she could suddenly be such a contradiction. All he knew of her mandated that she adhere to her norm and stay put, alone at NERV. *Not to say that's what I want.* he reflected soundlessly.  
  
Her deep crimson eyes had turned to face him, filling Shinji with a sense of nervousness as he awaited her answer. She seemed so far removed from the airplane itself, so far detached from Shinji and the others-as if she could not possibly care what he thought or had asked-but Shinji knew better, or rather, hoped for better than that as he sat in a moment of silence before the First Children answered.  
  
"I like water, Ikari-kun. It is comfortable, soothing, is it not?" replied Rei with her soft, sweet whisper of a voice, unblinking.  
  
To this Shinji couldn't help but give a nervous chuckle and avert his eyes from her solid stare, those crimson eyes focused so intently upon him. He shook his head as if to disagree. "Humans weren't meant to float," he tried to keep the grumble out of his voice.  
  
"You are afraid, Ikari-kun?" Rei asked simply, intrigued with the boy's answer. She'd always felt a certain amount of kinship with the Third Children. She even once vowed to put her own life above his own. But if that had been done purely as a fellow pilot of Eva she did not know. Perhaps she'd done it out of some mistaken instinct that maybe she could have a friend. She did not know that either. She had no answers to those types of thing. Seeing as they did not pertain to what she needed to do day in, day out, to follow the Commander's orders, she regarded these things as irrelevant to her existence. She was not concerned nor needed to be concerned about friendship. However, there were moments such as this one when she pondered the 'ifs' she kept negating. Was her internal.suffering.this unnamed emotion inside of her, this emptiness, somehow related to how she lived? Again, that was unexplained to her, and there was no way she would dare approach the commander with such questions. Yet somehow, she still felt this strange.. connection to Ikari-kun. Ikari Shinji, pilot of Eva Unit 01, boy, student, son of the Commander. It occurred to her she did not know much about him except what was in his file. She decided that she'd like to know more.  
  
By now Shinji was blushing profusely, long having broken eye contact with the enigmatic Ayanami Rei. He'd known her for several months now, and it seemed to him that he knew absolutely nothing about her. He gave his answer to her rather personal question willingly, though with some reservations. He did not like discussing himself with others, it made him uncomfortable, vulnerable. But for some reason he felt a bit less restricted, a bit more comfortable telling this to Ayanami. "No, Ayanami, I'm just..I don't know, I just don't like water. I.can't swim either."  
  
Rei's eyes widened a noticeable fraction before returning to their original state. How interesting, that a boy his age did not yet know something as necessary as to how to deal with water. Then again, such an inability could easily drive fear into someone of water. She nodded her understanding with a knowing glance at him, noting his discomfiture. Ikari-kun was always so ill-at-ease, as if he was at odds with his own existence. Rei smiled inwardly, if that could be actually imagined, at that thought. 'Perhaps we are not so dissimilar as I have been led to believe, Ikari Shinji', thought the sky-blue haired young woman.  
  
"I did not know that, Ikari-kun. I apologize, it has apparently upset you." Said she with a small frown, almost undetectable to all but the trained eye.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Ayanami. You.didn't mean to, and I'm fine." Shinji smiled at her warmly, as he always tried to do to people. He saw no reason to be false to others. He literally had nothing to lose at this point in his life. Reflecting on it, his life.for lack of a better word.. sucked. He really tried to get over that, but felt himself slowly being dragged back into the retro-depressive thought chain that could be birthed from such things. Silently, in his mind, looking away from the ghostly beautiful Ayanami, he repeated his internal mantra.'I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away..'  
  
"Ikari-kun?" Rei's voice penetrated his circular train of thought several minutes later.  
  
"Hai?" he asked with a bit more apprehension than usual.  
  
"That time.when you retrieved me from my Entry Plug after we defeated the Fifth Angel, why did you do so? You were crying also." Her soft voice floated over to his ears like a breeze that sent a slight shiver down his spine at how close she sounded, though he knew that she was well enough away that she was using a normal speaking voice.  
  
Shinji recalled the moment when he'd seen the toppled Evangelion Unit 00 toppled on one side due to the stress of the Fifth Angel's concentrated assault, how he'd practically jumped out of his Entry Plug and bolted to the ejected plug of his comrade..his friend. How the tears in his eyes as he pried the still blazingly hot hatch open, and scrambled inside to see if she was alright.A slight lump in his throat had formed now, as he remembered the dread experienced that time, that he'd lost his friend, Ayanami..Rei.  
  
"I." he couldn't bring himself to begin speaking properly, swallowing hard against the lump, feeling the despair of ejecting from his own Eva to rescue her from injury or worse, "I wanted to protect you, Ayanami..I was afraid that.that I'd lost you. That I'd lost a friend. I couldn't bear the thought.of not helping you. I was afraid for you, Ayanami."  
  
Rei's eyebrows arched in surprise, as she thought, 'He considers me his friend. I did not know that. Is this kinship I feel friendship? What is this emotion that rises inside of me when I think back to the face in the Entry Plug, and His tears?'. Rei could feel something different about how she felt inside when she heard the words of Ikari-kun. He was genuinely grieved to think that there could have been the possibility of her death. Someone had.cared about her. Commander Ikari cared about her, and had raised her, she knew, though she had few memories of that time. There was a certain detachment about the commander, in her mind at least. Ikari- kun..openly showed his distress at the thought of such loss.  
  
"Gomenasai.Ikari-kun." she cast her eyes downwards, then over Shinji's shoulder and through to the blue sky..'Sora Aoi' thought the girl, 'blue sky. A comfortable thing. Is Ikari Shinji comfortable?' "I made you worry.I only wished to protect your life. I could let no harm come to you. I could not then. I will not now."  
  
Shinji was taken aback by the statements from the First Children. The way she said those words, though with a cold efficiency, a soft wind, he could *feel* the conviction behind them. She was.adamant. Something about that made him smile on the inside, feeling a warmth spread through him. "I'm happy you didn't get hurt, Ayanami, because of me. And I hope I don't get you into trouble. I.want to protect you too. That was why I rushed to your Entry Plug.because I wanted to protect you."  
  
"I see." Rei gave him a sort of sideways glance as she shifted slightly into a more comfortable position in the seat and looked over at him with her unflinching gaze. "You made me smile too. I..appreciated that."  
  
"You should smile more, Ayanami. You have a pretty smile." Said Shinji without an iota of thought behind those words, only the truth he felt inside of him, bubbling up to the surface. He watched as Rei's cheeks turned pink with embarrassment, yet her eyes never leaving his, the tiniest of smiles on her thin lips. She looked absolutely angelic like that, illuminated by the light behind him, her eyes seemingly so bright.  
  
"..Arigato.Ikari-kun."  
  
"Please, Ayanami, call me Shinji. We've known each other for a while and we're friends." Shinji corrected, a smile of his own crossing his boyish features, sheepishly observing her reaction to his statements.  
  
Rei thought this over for an instant. 'Am I his friend? He says I am. Is this what friendship is, shared memories, shared feelings?'. The albino girl nodded in acceptance and agreement, and continued to favor him with that faint smirk. "Then, because I am your friend, I will call you that, Shinji-kun."  
  
"Arigato, Ayanami." Shinji replied happily, his face flushed too. He was only so ecstatic that the other passengers of the plane were a few seats ahead and behind him, unable to hear the exchange. If Touji or Kensuke got wind of this, they'd have a field day. The teasing would never end.  
  
"Please, Shinji-kun, call me Rei. We are friends, are we not?" she granted him a questioning look, her eyes nailing themselves to his and staying there.  
  
Shinji was caught a bit off-guard but continued smiling nonetheless, "I will..Rei-kun." 'Gee that sounded..nice.'. Then he concluded, "Yes, we are friends."  
  
Rei smiled at him with something approaching a feeling she could not name, but certainly felt good about. She was warm inside, not cold as she always felt. Her soul did not shiver, but rejoiced somehow. Was this feeling called happiness? She did not know. Isolation had created this void within her, which she could not fill, and she knew not why. She didn't even know the void was because of isolation. All she knew was that Shinji-kun had made her feel.good.  
  
The flight went on without further incident, but rather, a light air of contentment amongst the two pilots.  
  
Author's Note: Alright, there's chapter one, and there will be more coming, I promise, and I'll try to churn it out as fast as I can while maintaining quality. It will be hard since much of my writing time is dedicated to my novel. Well, I hope to hear some kind of criticism, hopefully constructive. Until next time, ja ne.  
  
Kazuhiko Kazuki 


	2. Run Silent, Run Deep

Author's Note: Well, I'm finally back. After an insane computer deciding to die on me and erase all my data, I'm ready to go at it again. I appreciate your patience in terms of getting updates, since its been nearly a month. However, now that my computer is up, chapters should be forthcoming in a fairly steady fashion. And in response to Ayanami-chan's comment on the name issue: They've known each other for a good while now, and keep in mind that by 2015 kids would probably be a bit more liberal in practice than today. However, like most social etiquette rules, this one is a gray area with no 'hard and fast' rules (excluding extreme cases). But thanks for picking up on it. Hope you all enjoy Chapter 2. Ja! -Kazuki.  
  
Never Look Back: Chapter 2 - Run Silent, Run Deep  
  
Murashima Inn Okinawa, Japan  
  
Getting his stuff unpacked for the week-long stay in Okinawa was no great trouble, so Ikari Shinji had ample time to contemplate the blank uniformity and mind-numbing featurelessness of the ceiling of his old-fashioned accommodations. The Murashima Inn was a throwback to Old Japan, with its shoji screens, teahouse, Zen garden and shrine. However, despite its anachronistic appearance, it was quite pleasing. And it looked expensive. Little did the younger Ikari know that this stay was possible not only because the Post-Second Impact economy had killed tourism, but second commander Fuyutsuki had pulled some strings as well.  
  
Alone, he lay back in the futon. Kensuke and Touji were already out enjoying what was left of the afternoon, the somewhat late arrival of the flight putting a jam on all pre-arranged plans, and were most likely seeking out members of the opposite sex. And probably failing miserably, no doubt. Now Shinji, unsettled, and restless for once, faced two options: stay in the mollifying boredom of this solitude, or, Kami-sama forbid, seek out someone to socialize with. Needless to say this second option scared the living daylights out of the designated pilot of Unit 01, but the former didn't seem palatable either. So with a forced sigh of resignation, he began to stretch to get up.  
  
Grabbing his satchel and SDAT, Shinji meandered his way across the polished and waxed wooden floors of tweak that made up the hotel and found himself promptly in the sunlight of mid-afternoon. Covering his eyes momentarily, he cast about looking for somewhere to get some shade and perhaps, a comfortable seat to enjoy the day's perfect weather.  
  
Above him was a cerulean sky painted with chalk-white clouds, a gentle, yet quite present wind fluttering through the green ferns and trees, stirring one and all. In the distance, over the wall of the inn's grounds, the street bustled with daily activities as cars sped by on their way to the various attractions and destinations of Okinawa Island. The air was slightly salty as the winds swept up the ocean air and blew it at the hillside, giving the place something of a surreal sensation. The trees scattered across the well-manicured courtyard offered only limited shade, prompting Shinji to walk along the path to the garden. He passed the traditional painted wood archway of the shrine and garden and, after a bit of searching, found a quiet corner overlooking the hillside towards the sea where he could sit.  
  
Kicking back slightly, he turned on his SDAT player and let the breeze caress his face and the warm sun envelope him in its rays, caring not for the outside world anymore. This was exactly what he wanted-a pristine, unobtrusive place to simply.let go.  
  
His mind began to draw a complete blank as he allowed himself his reprieve from reality, this escapism of his. But gradually, in increments almost unnoticeable to him, Shinji began to form ideas in his mindscape, which coalesced into tangible concepts, then words, then amalgamations of the previous called sentences. His mind toiled at his affairs with a detached fascination and curiosity, mixed with a fair amount of dread.  
  
He really could not decide on what to do about his father aside from following his orders and his lead. He couldn't even make up his mind as to whether he loved, or liked, disliked, or hated the man known as Ikari Gendou. He was simply too far removed from Shinji's mind to make any kind of lasting impression as a father except as an abandoner and a commander of men. Cold.calculating.efficient..  
  
Cruel.  
  
Mentally shaking his head, Shinji directed his attention to his latest issue of contention: Ayanami Rei. The conversation in the airliner had raised several intriguing questions about the albino-like young woman, of whom he'd felt something of an endearing feeling for over the last several months. He couldn't call it anything else aside for a slight affinity. He wasn't even sure if it constituted friendship or not. Despite what Ayanami had about their being friends, he wasn't easily swayed. After all, Ayanami wasn't known for having the best understanding of social dynamics.  
  
Wearily, almost snidely he reminded himself he was little better.  
  
And her request, a request to drop formalities grated on him somewhat. He was perfectly fine with calling Captain Katsuragi by her first name, he lived with her, so that was alright. But he hardly knew Ayanami.Rei. Yet Shinji recognized that this was not only her fault for being so distant but also his for not taking his interest in who she was any further than asking vague character questions to the NERV staff he saw on a day to day basis. He vividly recalled Dr. Akagi's brief synopsis.  
  
"She's not got at it." said the blond from across the low kotatsu table, looking away almost sheepishly.  
  
Shinji glanced up from Ayanami's photo ID, piqued. "at what?"  
  
The doctor gave him a half-smile crossing her arms. "Living."  
  
That had been nearly seven months ago, right before the encounter with Ramiael, the Fifth Angel. It was when he first realized that there was some kinship, some kind of connection between them. She'd sworn to protect him, and he knew he would have done the same for her. In fact, he would have been only too eager to throw himself in harm's way to spare her if need be. But he didn't even know why. He was only beginning to understand. He suddenly shivered.  
  
He would have given his life for a person he hardly even knew. The thought that he could be so spontaneous, so illogical frightened him a little. It forced him to admit that he cared about Ayanami more than he was willing to let on.  
  
And now he could grasp why: She would have done the same, given the circumstances. And she did, too. When the moment came, Ayanami jumped right in the line of fire, disregarding her own personal safety to protect Shinji, as she'd promised. The words of her promise still ringed in his heart, reminding him of the haunting memory. Not only was she a good person, beneath her frigid and unyielding exterior, but she deserved his friendship. He decided that he should make a good effort at becoming more than just a co-worker and be a friend. The fact that he'd decided on it didn't make the task any less daunting or fear-inspiring.  
  
At that moment, a soft voice carried along the trade winds and into his ear, a melodic whisper, regardless of its monotone. "Ika---Shinji-kun?"  
  
Shinji's eyes snapped open. Not only had he not been expecting company, he could hardly suppress the shudder that the eerie timing of the call possessed. Standing in front of him, back dropped by the sloping hill and sea, was the First Child, Ayanami Rei. She was still clad in her seifuku , a small bag slung over her left shoulder idly. She fixed her crimson eyes on him as her ice blue hair got tousled in a gust of wind. She seemed to want something.  
  
Well obviously.he thought to himself with a bit of sarcasm. He knew he could be so dull sometimes. He took off his SDAT's small ear jacks and forced a smile to cover his growing apprehension. While he was now sure he wanted to gain her friendship-in her heart and not just nominally-he had no concept of how to act around her.  
  
"What can I do for you, Aya." he paused, catching his error and reminding himself sternly of the need to be sincere in fulfilling Rei's request. "Rei- san?"  
  
For a moment it seemed as if Rei's cheeks gains a shade of cherry that hadn't been there before, causing Shinji to blink. Blushing? No.He watched as she hesitated for half a moment and commenced her statements. He really wasn't expecting what she said next, not in the least.  
  
Her timbre quiet and cautious, she explained to Shinji her motives. "I asked one of the employees of the Murashima Inn as to what one does while on vacations and class trips. She told me that people usually prefer spending them with friends when possible." there was a pause as she averted her eyes slightly in embarrassment, something completely new to Shinji's experience, and most likely, hers as well, "and I recall that you are my only friend, so therefore.I wish to spend my time with you, Shinji-kun, if it would be acceptable."  
  
Shinji knew that to laugh at this juncture would be not only rude but quite malicious. However, he had an infinitely difficult time stifling the resulting chuckle that threatened to escape. He was taken aback, of course, at her bluntness, but that was to be expected from one the likes of Ayanami Rei. What he didn't expect was her request though. Another request. And I can't.don't want to refuse.  
  
Smiling widely, attempting to radiate as much warmth as he dared, he nodded his head very slightly, cobalt eyes meeting her blood-red hues, he replied, "Sure, Rei-san. I appreciate it that you remembered that we're friends."  
  
Shinji had the mental urge to smack himself, and very hard. That didn't sound quite right at all. Messed up. Botched was a better word. Taking a steadying breath, he continued. "Please, sit with me Rei-san. There's room on this bench."  
  
As Shinji scooted over a notch to accommodate Rei, he watched as she sat herself easily on the wooden bench, gracefully lowering herself and folding her hands on her lap, pale fingers interlaced. As he stole that look at her, observing her profile, he was reminded of how beautiful she was. She had classic features, feminine, yet understated, augmented by her exotic hair color and rouge eyes and alabaster skin. Shinji felt himself blushing and instantly looked away as to not draw attention to the fact that he was basically checking her out.  
  
An awkward silence ensued as both contemplated what to say to the other. Shinji, nerve-wracked as on how to proceed, Again, Rei was the first to initiate the exchange.  
  
"What would you like to do, Shinji-kun?" Inside, she was quietly nodding to herself at her accomplishment of not fouling up her addressing of her companion. There were still many things she needed to learn, and though cautious, she was eager.  
  
Shinji looked pensive as he set his eyes on the horizon, where the deep blue sea met the azure sky, which was yellowing in hue due to the ending day. He was now acutely aware that his last meal had been in Tokyo-3, and this spurned him onto his next thought. He considered it, nodded and then turned to Rei with trepidation and a determined look on his face, voice full of enthusiasm.  
  
"Rei-san, have you ever been on a picnic?" he asked, smiling.  
  
Blankly, Rei stared back at him, blinking a few times. ".No."  
  
Sometime later  
  
"Ah! Finished!" said Shinji from the inside of Murashima Inn's kitchen, having gained the permission of the rather kindly staff to prepare some food for the picnic inside their facilities. He found himself well-equipped and equally well-stocked, a culinary expert's delight. It didn't take long to procure the food needed for the little foray on the hill and Shinji, being adept at his trade, was quick in getting things put together. There had been one slight detraction: as Rei had expressed she was vegetarian, it took a little doing for him to come up with an interesting and tasty dish without asking the staff for advice. In reality, he didn't have much experience with picky eaters. Then of course, there was Asuka. cooking for her kept him on his toes, in pain, or in tip-top cooking order, usually a mixture of all of the above.  
  
He finished placing the food containers and drinks in a basket (also on loan, it turns out the staff at Murashima didn't have anything better to do with all of their customers out touring the island), and turned to Rei, who was sitting on a bench adjacent the kitchen doors. He gave her an encouraging nod and smile, and they set off for the Zen garden, which afforded them the best of views.  
  
Across from Murashima Inn Okinawa Japan.  
  
In the docks not far from the Murashima Inn, a boat had pulled up and unloaded a bit of cargo and manpower. Afterwards, a nondescript white moving van had shown up punctually, picked up the equipment, along with six individuals. All of them looked hardy and were probably, in the layperson's estimation, fisherman, or perhaps visiting farmers. Once inside the relative secrecy of the rental van, however, all such pretense was dropped.  
  
Inside the van the six men sat upon boxes of equipment, all carrying personal satchels and bags of their own, with, presumably, their tools of trade. Nearest the driver's seat, however, not driving, sat the leader of the group. He wore a pair of sleek Ray Ban sunglasses and sported a spotty goatee that was in need of trimming. From his facial features he was obviously Japanese, but the same could not be said for the others. There were at least two foreigners, one blond, the other with a dark flaxen hair color.  
  
"Alright gentlemen, and I use the term loosely, we have a job to do today, you all know what it is. Half of your payment and fees have already been given to you before departure, and the other half will be given all of us after the job is done." Operations Chief Date Hiromatsu spoke gruffly and curtly. He was an old hand in this line of work and took pride in it. He didn't like screwing up, and was among the elite in his field. He intended to stay that way, though retirement for him was likely-he was getting tired- and the market just wasn't buying. Maybe he should buy a sake factory or something the like and live in a place like this. After all, after getting shot at perhaps a few hundred times on at least a dozen occasions, he felt he deserved the break.  
  
There were nods of assent among his compatriots, all of whom indeed knew what they were doing. This would be relatively straightforward. The only thing they needed to worry about would be the NERV Section 2 pukes near the prime engagement zone and that's it.  
  
Discreetly, as the sun began to set, the van let out a couple of its passengers, now dressed in delivery outfits and carrying a Nihon Shipping Industries package. They walked down the fairly uncluttered avenue towards the Inn that was designated as Zero Point and went about their 'civilian business'.  
  
As Date and the rest of his crew drove by he spotted the black car with U.N. plates that was obviously, to the trained eye, the security. They did have it nice, those security snots. All they had to do to protect their targets here was watch the gate. Nor much else. Unfortunately for them they were about to encounter unorthodox methods.  
  
There was a small office building half a block down from the entrance of the Murashima that offered a nice view of the street, the section 2 car, the gate and most of the complex except the shrine. The shrine, however, wasn't a problem. It was that out-of-place hotel. Ah yes, the executives would be quite satisfied.  
  
After exiting the van himself, Date went with his large suitcase to the office building to set up his post. Maybe he'd have time after this to grab some ramen. He hated working on an empty stomach.  
  
Murashima Shrine (Inn)  
  
By the time they finally made it to the spot Shinji had picked for the picnic with Rei, the sun was already touching the water. The sky was a blazing orange, and it cast spectacular reflections against the crests of crashing waves, hundreds of meters away. Shinji was much more relaxed now, working around Rei had served to calm his nerves. Now their silences were slightly less awkward, and more of a reassuring silence, if such could be said.  
  
Rei sat with her back to the main bulk of the Inn's grounds, her paper- white face highlighted on one side by golden streaks of light that filtered through some of the upper foliage of the trees that drooped down along the hillside like an umbrella. She was sitting on the tablecloth Shinji laid out for them to eat. Once her companion was seated, she gave him an appraising stare, and the faintest of smiles appeared on her face. "I think I may enjoy this, Shinji-kun. Arigato."  
  
Having only seen Rei smile once before, he believed that he would have attributed the 'smile' to hallucination had it not been accompanied by her verbal statement. She looked very angelic when she gave that soft, tender smile. She appeared to be almost another person entirely, but still definitively unique.  
  
Stuttering slightly, Shinji tried to respond, a smile creeping across his face nonetheless. "Do itashimashite, Rei-san." He drifted into a silence as he gave her some of the salad and vegetarian sub he prepared, and then sat on his haunches, looking out across the Inn, then down towards the sea pensively. He felt a chill go down his spine as he recalled the day they'd sat like this on the overhead loading gantries of their Eva Units, a full moon lazily moving across a dark sky above them, and the very morbid tone Rei had used then, in explaining why she piloted EVA.  
  
"I guess it all is because of ties," he said aloud absently, eyes half closed as he took another bite of sandwich. He heard a stirring from beside him, and then heard Rei speak up, putting down her food.  
  
"What do you mean, 'our ties', Shinji-kun?" her tone was inquisitive, despite how much she may have wanted to dampen it. Shinji may have been something of an ignoramus in reading other people, but try as she might, there were things Rei knew she could not hide from his scrutiny. She generally ascribed that to a hyper focus on her, as one who studies something can pick up details an inexperienced person unfamiliar with the object would not. For some reason she found it disturbing, reminiscent of how he would have seen things.  
  
Shinji hadn't realized he'd actually said something, sputtered, and nearly choked on his food. After washing it down with a can of soda, he replied to her, throwing her a sideways glance. "That day you said you pilot Eva because of your ties. I guess we all do some things because of our ties. We go on picnics because of our ties, we do our jobs because of our ties to our superiors.and so on. Seems you were right."  
  
Rei considered this, and tilted her head slightly. "I did not expect you to look at it that way."  
  
As if to say, 'neither did I', Shinji shrugged emphatically and sighed heavily. It was such a nice day, he adored it, but his jumbled thoughts kept getting in the way of fully appreciating it. He wondered idly what it must be like for Rei. Did she have concepts of the beauty of a sunset? Appreciation for a turn of phrase? He didn't know. But he found that the more questions he had, the more he wanted to know about her. It was a vicious cycle.  
  
Then, in an uncharacteristically blasé move on his part, inspired by the flame red tongues of light racing along the horizon, Shinji looked at Rei fondly, smiling. "I'm glad, Rei-san, that you didn't die that day I piloted so you wouldn't have to. Thinking back on it, it wasn't a hard decision when I was holding you. I don't know why, but I knew I had to do something. I'm glad I did."  
  
Rei's eyes widened noticeably, and her cheeks flushed into much to ruddy a shade for her norm, but then, she eased and a slow, knowing smile appeared, and in a very quiet voice she said, "I am also glad, that I did the same for you against our opponent, Ramiael."  
  
Shinji nodded, his heart warmed by her display of human emotion. Intellectually he'd been aware she was capable of such emotions but as a gut sense he really didn't think she was able to ever express them, or simply got in too deep a habit of hiding them. So they sat in a tranquil quiet for a while as the sun finally disappeared beneath the waves and night began to settle on the island chain. He was indeed satisfied that Rei was with him. Things had turned out better than expected, however his mind, for the moment, was back in his first day at NERV, standing on the cage, holding a battered Ayanami Rei in his arms, trembling with fear himself.  
  
I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away.I mustn't run away.  
  
Those thoughts ran through his head then and now, for he knew he could easily say the wrong thing to her by accident and hurt her feelings, or worse, be hurt himself. He did not want that, not anymore. And it was all because of his father, the bastard. It was he who'd called Rei out of the medical ward, and blackmailed Shinji to get in the Eva. Otosan. Somehow he'd known Shinji would feel pity and protectiveness for Rei and get inside Unit 01. But just how much of it was actual planning as opposed to opportunism? The ramifications were large if that had been planned from the beginning. But would he have been cruel enough, his father? Even for that? He found it hard to believe, but then again, this was the leader of the world's most powerful paramilitary operation. He was not beyond such suspicion.  
  
His eyes were on the Inn when he noticed that there seemed to be some people scurrying about on the north face of the complex, but he ignored it momentarily. Then, a couple of minutes later there were more shadows darting about the courtyard. Unit O1's pilot squinted in the twilight and strained to see better. He heard vaguely Rei calling his name, in a vain attempt to gain his attention when suddenly, an explosive flash erupted inside the paper and bamboo walls of the Inn.  
  
Faster than he could have thought possible, he lunged forward and sideways, pushing Rei to the ground out of sheer battle instincts developed fighting the Angels. Later he would suspect that she'd been slower in reacting because her back was to the Inn. As they hit the dirt a sound like a sonic boom roared around them as the sound of the explosion reached them a split second later, like a thunderclap at obscenely close range.  
  
As he fell, shrapnel flew, and one especially jagged piece sizzled through the air and caught him across the back as he dropped himself and Rei, right where her spine had been a moment before. He groaned with pain as the debris cut lengthwise along his back but after a second, he found himself in stunned silence as the fireball rose into the air and dissipated, leaving behind a large crater and much burning wood and smoking ash. Overkill.  
  
Beneath him, Rei grunted and got out from under him, still a bit bewildered at how fast Ikari moved to shield her. There had been no hesitation whatsoever. It had been second nature. She threw him a cursory look and saw his ripped T shirt and the bloody cut running along from behind his right shoulder to the small of his back. It looked.painful. He was ding a good job of hiding it as he pushed himself off the ground.  
  
"Rei, Daijobu desu ka?" Are you alright? He demanded quietly, looking at her, pale with concern and blood loss.  
  
Rei, stunned sat up straight and took a second to get her bearings, then nodded solemnly. "Hai." Then, she turned to the burning Inn and shrine entrance and said, for his ears alone, "The target was us. They knew we were staying at this establishment. We should flee."  
  
"What about the section 2 officers.they must have---" Shinji began, shocked that someone had subverted the elite security forces of NERV. They were supposed to have been the very best, but obviously an incident like this went beyond failure to gross negligence.  
  
"Most likely dead already. We must flee this location if we are to survive. They will think us dead if they do not find us." Rei pointed out, already collecting her back and tossing the picnic materials into the basket, not wanting to leave behind proof of their escape for their would-be-assassins.  
  
"Alright."  
  
So they made their move for safety, hugging the backwoods-style trails that led to other plots of the tightly packed land. Fortunately, it looked as if the hit team was focusing its efforts on canvassing the Inn proper before leaving, so they made quick, unimpeded progress down the hill. With impunity, they passed through private property, jumped two gates (one of which was achieved by getting atop a station wagon), and walked towards the street through an alley. Shinji was not fairing particularly, well, dizzy and lightheaded, and in pain. The wound was not life-threatening, provided they could stop to take care of it, but he would not be able to keep this running pace up. Shinji produced a jacket from his bag and put it on to hide the cut and they strode onto the sidewalk casually, evading attention. Once they were a good six hundred or so meters from the entrance of the Murashima, they began to speak again.  
  
"So, right now they think we're dead, on the grounds that nothing could have survived that. Oh God, the students." Shinji said suddenly, stopping in his tracks and almost choking. Kensuke, Touji, the Class Rep.  
  
"Shinji-kun, almost all the students were still out when the attack happened." Rei reminded him that virtually everyone had made plans to eat out and thus, were not subject to the violence. Though still weary, Shinji was boosted by this and seemed to gain some strength. But it was obvious he was losing his energy. Rei slipped an arm around his back to support him, to which he looked away slightly, but was thankful for anyways.  
  
Together they walked aimlessly for a while before Shinji suddenly remembered something that only now clicked in his head. "Rei-san, you said that they probably think we're dead, right? What about NERV, would they think so too, once they found out and we didn't get in touch with them?"  
  
"If we did not, yes, they would, but why is that important to our situation, Shinji-kun?" she turned to face him fully, raising her powder blue eyebrows in question. Sometimes Shinji didn't really make much sense at all.  
  
Shinji was deep in thought. He'd been considering this for a few minutes already, and was also deeply mired in internal conflict. If NERV considered them dead, they'd be free, free of the horror of Eva and of the Angels. They would be able to live the lives they wanted, without the pain of their previous lives. However, this, in Shinji's opinion, was another form of running away, but with purpose. They could always find new pilots and Sohryu looked very enthusiastic, and probably could handle most of the angels on her own. After all, she was trained to fight them, he was not. He knew he should have left the fighting to those who knew how to do it. It wasn't his job. He wanted to help, but more often than not, he would probably mess up.  
  
He faced Rei with his ocean blue orbs steady and resolved as he came to a decision: he had a right to live the way he wanted. He didn't need Eva to define him. "Rei-san, I've been thinking. If NERV and the hit squad think we're dead, it means that right now, as far as anyone is concerned, we don't exist. We can do whatever we want." There was a silence in the air between them as he let her consider that, raising a hand, he continued. His voice cracked for a moment with emotion, his eyes tearing slightly. He fought hard against it, unwilling to show Rei weakness, not now at least. He was tired of his role, his personal hell. And he didn't want Rei to be NERV's pawn either. "Haven't you ever wanted something more than Eva? I know I don't ever want to get into an Entry Plug so long as I live."  
  
Rei watched him in awe. She had never seen Shinji so.firm about anything. Especially considering that just a moment ago he looked as if he didn't know left from right. But something was now different, as if arriving at a crossroads and making a decision. A life-changing one. She realized it herself that he was offering her the same opportunity to do the one thing she feared most in doing, and that was taking responsibility for her own life, instead of depending on someone telling her how to life, what to do, what to think. It hadn't occurred to her that her life consisted of so many orders and commands. Deep within her, she felt an anger stir in her heart, a heart only now beginning to comprehend what the word 'injustice' meant. Shinji's words forced her to look at her past and see that she wasn't living for herself, she was living for a man who she wasn't sure even cared about her. He certainly wasn't afraid to throw her in harms' way.  
  
In the back of her mind, images of her past since meeting Ikari-kun flashed abruptly. When she was injured, he had been the one to hold her and comfort her in pain, who got in Eva Unit 01 and risked everything. He was the one who ran to get her out of the still smoldering Entry Plug. While Commander Ikari committed a similar action before, under close scrutiny it appeared that while Shinji had nothing to gain, his father did, making his pretense false. That was not so with Shinji.  
  
Somehow Rei knew that this was coming down to a decision between who she could trust more: Eva 00, Shinji, or the commander. She would not dare trust Unit-00 for anything. She was fairly sure the soul inside it wished to kill her or imprison her within the confines of its core. Ayanami Rei did not yet fully understand why she still piloted the biomechanoid behemoth. All she could say about it was her ties to the commander kept her there. Now those ties, those bonds, formerly of trust, were being broken even as she stared into the hurt eyes of the Third Child. Time was running out. She needed to make a choice. Now.  
  
Perhaps more soberly and with greater poignancy than ever before in her life, Ayanami Rei nodded in the affirmative, her expression determined, features blank, hiding her inner turmoil. Steeling herself, she addressed him in as a reassuring tone as she could muster. "Then we must hurry and leave Okinawa. Soon NERV will be here and there will be no escape, Shinji- kun."  
  
Throwing aside some of his childishness, Shinji, despite his rejection of Eva, looked ever-more the talented, battle-proven pilot of Evangelion. Shinji may have been indecisive, shy and obtuse at times, but beneath him lay the core of a hard, relentless individual. When he set himself to something, he did it, no matter the cost. In that way he was very similar to his father, disturbingly so. They were both kind to those they cared for but could be a maelstrom of fury against those who wronged them.  
  
At Rei's urging, they purchased some bandages at a convenience store with a card that Rei was given a long time ago by the commander. He said that should she need funds in an emergency situation, she could use this account, tied directly to a Swiss bank independent of NERV and under an assumed name. Not even section 2 was aware of that assumed name. It was not only untraceable, but only the commander knew it existed but due to the Swiss government, he could not monitor it. There was roughly enough money to secure passage off Okinawa and transport to a third city if need be, as well as enough to get around a month's worth of food and pay cheap rent. They would need that money dearly were they to carry out this ill-planned, and probably ill-advised disappearing act.  
  
After gaining bandages, as well as a wig and a pair of color contact lenses to hid her eye color, Rei helped her fellow escapee patch up his wounded back. Rei donned her makeshift disguise, hoping it would suffice. They were sure to canvass the area afterwards, looking for anyone who'd seen someone with an 'odd' appearance. It was prudent to prevent the likelihood of their retrieval by means of subversion. She figured they had roughly five hours before things would begin to get dicey on the island.  
  
Not stopping for rest, they went to the airport and bought tickets in economy class for the next flight to mainland Japan, which happened to be Osaka. From there they would get a connection to Kagoshima, where they would seek out shelter. It was risky, using a connecting flight, however, it would put more distance between them and Okinawa and Osaka quicker than a train would. Getting the tickets was surprisingly easy, and identification hadn't even been needed. Both youths looked several years older than their actual age with the tension on their faces. Rei could tell Shinji was almost trembling with uneasiness.  
  
The flight left not even twenty minutes after their arrival at the airport, and once in the air, both were able to take a pause to rest and reflect on their situation. Shinji was thoroughly worn out, having lost blood and a good part of his sanity arriving at his current course of action.  
  
Rei, for her part, was still in the midst of churning thoughts as she considered her relationships with the people she knew and worked with, especially Shinji and the commander. She knew now that there would be no going back to the commander for her. Once he found out of this treachery, he would not forgive her.  
  
Rei felt a slight pressure against her left side and found that Shinji was asleep, passed out from exertion, his head resting on her shoulder heavily. Rei smiled inwardly and decided that some things were too precious to give up, despite the circumstances. Not even the threat of a very painful death dampened that thought.  
  
-Alright, that's it, hoped you enjoyed Chapter two. Chapter three should be up in a couple of days. I can write pretty freely now. I'm writing the chapters themselves shorter than planned because I think the fluency is better served this way. In the next chapter, NERV finds out just who is behind the nefarious act of violence at Okinawa, and Misato grieves over the loss of Shinji. Ikari Gendou gets called to speak to a very upset SEELE council, and the first appearance of Kaji in our story. Don't miss Chapter Three: New Lies, Old Secrets. Please read on!  
  
Kazuhiko Kazuki. 


	3. Old Secrets, New Lies

Author's Note: Here we go again, chapter three, and in fairly short order. I'm happy to say this is starting to gain momentum. For those of you still with me, thanks for staying and reading. I really appreciate it. Anyways, This looks like its going to be an interesting chapter as the kids try to find a place to live while incognito, and well, NERV gets shaft.  
  
Disclaimer: All characters, everything, including my soul, are the express property of Gainax Co. and the respective copyright holders of Shinseki Evangelion (Neon Genesis Evangelion), and so are the ramen noodles I stole from them yesterday!  
  
Chapter Three: New Lies, Old Secrets  
  
Katsuragi - Langley Residence  
  
Higashi District, Tokyo-3  
  
The door to the apartment in the outskirts of the fortress city of Tokyo-3 slid aside easily at the command of its owner. That owner, bedraggled and disheveled, stumbled inside, unable to go much further. In one hand was a briefcase, in the other a six pack of Yebisu beer, draft. The person's clothes looked slept in and her face worn out. It had been a long day, and she felt only half as good as she looked.  
  
Captain Katsuragi Misato of NERV made her way silently into her apartment, tossing her papers and briefcase on the dining table, passing the living room completely, and closing the door to her room behind her. With little fanfare she sagged onto her futon and cracked open a beer. She felt like taking a dive before going to sleep, at least for the stress-reliving value of alcohol as much as for thirst.  
  
Working without two of her pilots had been a risk, however a calculated one. Not only was there little time since the last Angel attack, but there was still one highly trained pilot on-base. This would ensure that there was at least some time to collect Shinji and Rei should hell break loose in the city. Still, she was a bit nervous about the entire affair. It did, in fact, translate to much more administrative juggling on her part. Not only did synch tests need to be moved around, but also they had to continually run drills with Asuka and the command staff to keep everyone in peak performance while shorthanded.  
  
When she could take no more of this 'awake' business, Misato did nothing. Rather, gravity helped her unceremoniously into bed as she fell backwards onto the still unmade futon and its pillow. She hadn't even bothered to throw away her empty cans.  
  
Seemingly far too soon after she gained the black whispering abyss of sleep, she was jostled awake by the shrill sound of the phone ringing. Groggily, with an unsteady hand, she reached for the receiver, and picked up, her head still under the covers.  
  
"Moshi moshi, Katsuragi desu." Greeted Misato in a slurring voice. She listened to the speaker on the other end for twenty seconds.  
  
"NANI?! MASAKA!" [What? Impossible!] she yelled into the receiver, probably exploding the other person's eardrum. Well eardrums aside, he replied and demanded her presence at NERV immediately.  
  
"Hai..so.so ka..Wakarimashita." [Yes, uh huh, I see, Understood.] she hung up, practically slamming the phone as she rolled over and stared, or rather, glared at the ceiling. Something had gone terribly, inexplicably wrong, and possibly the worst thing in the world just happened.  
  
The children were dead.  
  
Central Dogma NERV Headquarters, Tokyo-3 Geofront  
  
Misato strode onto the command level of the Operations Command and Control Center, her face a mess but her eyes hard and red. Her hair was still a bird's nest of strands going in every which direction. As she passed the security checkpoint, NERV Section 2 officers snapped to immediate attention.  
  
In the control center, sub-commander Fuyutsuki and commander Ikari were already waiting. The older man, Fuyutsuki, somewhere in his sixties, long having gone gray, looked very grim. Ikari, however, always looked grim, so Misato could not get much of a read of him. It wasn't like that wasn't normal to begin with. Also roused from bed was Dr. Akagi and First Lieutenant Ibuki. Both women were silent and solemn, however Ritsuko appeared quite indifferent, while Maya herself was obviously upset but trying to follow her mentor's lead.  
  
"Sir." Misato stopped crisply in front of the commander and his majordomo. Ikari nodded almost imperceptibly. The stare he was giving her, she could tell, was his 'angry' stare, the telltale sine was that his hands were clasped behind his back, and he stood with even more imposition and was practically radiating malice in sickening waves. Misato found that she had to take a steadying breath before she could continue.  
  
"I was informed, though without any details. What..what happened, sir?" she asked in a tremor that was weaker than she'd intented.  
  
Gendou hesitated several seconds, drawing out the silence no doubt for shock effect, only after the air was stale did he finish waiting to make his address to his subordinate.  
  
"Pilots Ayanami and Ikari were both killed in an explosion, in the Murashima Inn, just this evening. Section 2 has determined that nothing survived the blast inside the structure. They found practically no remains, only ashes." He stated coldly. Even if he was verbally declaring his own son's death, as well as that of his cherished 'adoptive' daughter, he would betray nothing. While his ire of the younger Ikari was well documented, he was known to be relatively caring in terms of the First Child.  
  
"We have determined that it was not a random act of violence or terrorism, but rather a planned assassination. We are still investigating who is responsible, though we believe executives in the Japan Industries Jet Alone Project are somehow involved." Fuyutsuki said in a quiet tone, eyeing the command screens, not quite feeling like looking the closest thing the two pilots had to a mother figure in the eye.  
  
Misato tried desperately to maintain her composure in front of the commander and sub-commander, keeping her face blank.  
  
"Operative Ryouji Kaji has been assigned to investigate. I expect your cooperation with him in the operation." There was a pause in the commander's drone, then his eyes narrowed. "Be aware, Katsuragi-chii, I am holding you responsible for this occurrence. It was your ill-advised plan that resulted in lax security."  
  
The director of operations and planning nodded very solemnly, stiffly. "Wakari.Wakarimashita."  
  
"Dismissed."  
  
Afterwards, Misato arrived home, closed her apartment door, made sure she didn't wake Asuka, and then, in the privacy of her room, wept freely in grief and anger. Tears of impotent rage flowed down her cheeks, as she knew no amount of crying would bring Shinji or Rei back.  
  
No, she thought after a while. She would not cry. She would get even.  
  
Terminal Dogma NERV Headquarters, Tokyo-3  
  
The twelve monoliths of SEELE projected themselves around Ikari Gendou. He didn't need to see their faces to know they were not only upset, but angry and disturbed by recent events: all of them were present. That in and of itself was a rarity.  
  
Chairman Kihi was the first to speak, in his guttural, harsh, deeply spoken Japanese. He was infuriated at this setback with the project, which endangered directly the scenario.  
  
"Ikari! You have failed us. This was not in our scenario. You are creating your own scenario, Ikari-kun." He boomed though his insubstantial monolith projection which read, "SEELE 01".  
  
SEELE 12 affirmed the comment in a nasal and abrasive voice. "Sayo! [Aye] Ware ware wa shinpai na desu yo. [We are worried.] We demand you explain yourself!"  
  
There was a chorus of consensus among the other images of nonexistent people. Oh yes there would be hell to pay, if the scenario failed at this juncture. Quite literally so.  
  
From behind stepped fingers and folded hands, the commander of NERV, the man in charge of the first line of defense and the linchpin in the plans for Instrumentality spoke calmly, dismissing the issue.  
  
"There is no cause for worry, the situation is still in our control. The Marduk Agency." he said with derision, for they all knew the truth of that entity's existence and its true nature, "has already found the fourth and fifth children. There will be no problems preparing Unit-01 for a new pilot." Gendou finished, satisfied with his own answer.  
  
If Kihi could have demonstrated a glare, he would have. "You are trifling with us, Ikari. You must ascertain exactly what happened at once. Remember, failure of this magnitude is not tolerated and is punishable by death."  
  
All too smoothly, Gendou acknowledged. "Wakateiru." [I know.]  
  
As the images disappeared into blackness and oblivion, both sides of the argument began to devise their own schemes to find out what really happened to the Eva pilots. None of them, not for a minute believed them actually dead, though none of them equally, were willing to admit to it.  
  
Miyagi Prefecture Japan  
  
Getting to Kagoshima from Osaka, a rather backtrack route, had been successful. However, once in Kagoshima, Rei had determined it necessary to go further north. Much father. In fact, she arranged for cheap discount transport to Miyagi Prefecture, which was in the North East sector of the main island of Honshu. Shinji had protested at first, concerned that it would overtax the expense budget they had to establish themselves with, however he soon became quiet as he realized Rei was much more efficient in terms of figuring out a course of action that would render them hard to find. Miyagi was small enough and far enough away from Okinawa that it would be overlooked, but large enough for them to move in unnoticed.  
  
Once off the train from Akika to Miyagi, the last leg of their journey over, the weary pair moved silently along the flows of pedestrian traffic until they had exited the station itself and were on the street proper. The air was nice, and the sun quite bright. It was warm, and the people seemed rather cheerful, though they looked busy. It wasn't more than eleven in the morning.  
  
When Shinji turned to regard Rei and converse as to how to proceed, he was stunned by the difference he saw in her. Her disguise was pretty generic: she no longer wore the school uniform, though it was smuggled away in a bag, and her azure locks were hidden under a wig of dark brown hair, her eyes possessing solid black irises instead of her normal red. She was garbed simply in a pair of khakis and a dark blouse, satchel bag thrown over a shoulder. She looked like a different person, although he recognized her features.  
  
They'd traveled under assumed names, and now decided to switch them again to be completely assured of their continued clandestine status. Therefore Rei and Shinji took the pseudonyms Asano Kaede and Asano Minoru respectively. They would pose as a young married couple. That idea, while it made him blush slightly for what he felt were childish reasons, seemed appropriate. No one would believe brother and sister were living together alone, at a young age, and nor would anyone want or accept two singles living together. Some parts of Japan were still conservative in that regard, Miyagi one of those places as it were.  
  
Fortunately, as he was about to say something to Rei, he spotted a rack of 'Homes and Apartments Classifieds' in the newsstand just outside the entrance to the mag-lev station and picked one up. The great thing about those types of publications is that they had no cost, thus curbing their expenditures.  
  
"I think this will do, Kaede," he said, 'in character'. He dared not risk using their real names in conversation, even in amidst a crowd of people who could care less.  
  
"Nani, Anata?" [A/N, the pronoun, 'anata' (you) when used in certain circumstances by women, is akin to saying 'dear', though in general the pronoun is viewed by the older generations as fairly rude.] she asked, [What?]  
  
He showed her the classifieds booklet and urged her with a hand motion to continue walking. Rei flipped through the book quickly, looking at a brief district map of Miyagi and then checking out apartments. One in particular caught her attention. It was advertised as 'small, already furnished," but was quite far from the center of town and business areas, where one or both of them would have to work.  
  
Ever the logician, Rei informed Shinji of the locale and conditions. "If we take this apartment, not only can we save money but we can also have an apartment that is more likely to be overlooked. What is your opinion?"  
  
Shinji eyeballed the description briefly, as well as the photo. It looked pretty old, but there was still furniture. Of course they would have to buy bedding, but that was alright, considering. It was a real steal. It felt almost too good to be true.  
  
"You're right, but there has to be something wrong with the apartment for it to be that cheap.what.85000 yen? That's.really low." He stated with apprehension, pointing at the at for emphasis. "But we are low on cash, and we need money for first, last, and security deposit."  
  
"You are correct on the last, however, we cannot afford to not examine it." She replied quietly from his side as they walked in what the map said was the general direction of the neighborhood.  
  
After some more walking, it dawned on both of them to call the owner of the apartment and inquire, to make sure the person was even there. Shinji was the one to place the call, despite his normally timid nature. He figured Rei had done all of the work so far, and it was time they started sharing responsibilities. It would be, after all, key to living in the same house, appearing to the outside world as husband and wife.  
  
Somehow, with a great sense of strangeness, Shinji felt as if it was fitting, in a way, if not portentous. Just the thought made him weak in the knees, though, of living with Rei. It scared him, mostly because he was still unsure of how to act with her. However, he'd decided to make his future with her in his life somehow, at least for now. The least he could do was be a man about it.  
  
With that said it was still hard to translate thoughts into actions.  
  
Tremulously, Shinji spoke with the old woman on the line, who was eager to have a new tenant, she explained, due to the sagging economy. It would be good for the community, she said, for new residents to come in, especially a young couple filled with vitality. The crone seemed nice enough, Shinji thought to himself, so he inquired about directions from their position, and was given the correct information.  
  
"Alright," he said, hanging up the phone, and turning to Rei, who was watching him intently. "I got through.Why are you.staring at me like that? Did I do something wrong, Rei?"  
  
He slipped and only noticed his failure too late. She shook her head and replied simply, "You are changing, that is all. You are less.what others call 'withdrawn'."  
  
'Oh.so ka." He murmured, meeting her contact lens-covered eyes for a brief instant. Together, they walked the three-kilometer route through the city to the outskirts, which were located along a range of sloping hills that formed part of the vaguely bowl-like shape the city was nestled in. from here they could just see the ocean in the far distance.  
  
In that silence they shared until they reached their destination, Rei was thoughtful. The prospect of spending time with Shinji was beginning to grow on her, if only slightly. She'd not really considered that part of their situation until they were already on the flight out of Okinawa to Osaka. She knew now that there would be certain things she would have to do to maintain the reality of the façade they would put up, things she may not immediately be comfortable with, but it was a sacrifice she was willing to make on the behalf of Shinji-kun. One of the reasons she agreed to go along with this plan was because for some reason she did not believe Shinji would be able to do it on his own. She had confidence in him certainly, however, he did not look like the kind of person who could carry himself responsibly alone in the world. He would like to say he could but he would only be lying to himself, self deception.  
  
Thus with a strange, caring feeling, she followed in quiet speculation until they arrived at the apartment building. The old crone, Etsuko, was waiting patiently for them. She looked roughly around sixty-five or so, in Rei's estimation. She wore a bright, cheerfully patterned kimono and a pair of tough-looking sandals. Rei could tell this woman was a fairly traditional Japanese, which were fairly rare after Second Impact. They were rare even before the impact too.  
  
"Ah, the young couple, Asano Minoru-kun, is it?" said Etsuko, greeting them with a slight bow and a wide, toothy smile. Her eyes were almonds in shape and color, her face taunt on the front but with wrinkled sides, and gray hair pulled back in a severe ponytail and done up in a bun.  
  
"Hai, watashi desu." [Yes, its me] said Shinji with a meek voice, stepping forward and offering the landlady a bow. He straightened. "We're interested in the apartment in the ad."  
  
"Of course you are. Come, please, let me show you in. This must be your lovely wife, Asano-san?" she looked at Rei with her beady little eyes, warm and appraising.  
  
Rei found herself trying to fight off a fierce blush, she really didn't like getting that sort of attention, but she replied only with a slight nod. There wasn't much she could do to get rid of her habitual silences.  
  
Etsuko led them through the lobby of the building and onto the second floor via elevator, which was technically the first floor. There were six apartments on each floor and the building had about five floors. It wasn't run down, but it wasn't by any means luxurious or very clean, however it was quiet neat. The signs were all well-organized and names were bold and legible. They were led to one of the first apartments on the second floor, 202. With a key she produced from her small purse, Etsuko opened the door.  
  
The apartment was fairly small. From the entryway one could see the living room, which had a kotatsu table and quilt, a sofa, and a chair facing a balcony facing the city. There were some tatami mats in the living room, all still clean. Once they were led in along the short entryway, they turned right to see the small kitchenette and appliances. To the left of the living room was a sliding door. Etsuko was commenting all the while about the previous tenants-a middle aged pair who couldn't afford to ship all of this with them, moving abroad to America. So they'd just left it all behind, like that. She admitted it was a real boon.  
  
The bedroom itself still tatami mats and a futon, plus a low table and nightstand. A window also looked out into the northeast, where the sun would rise. It was all pretty generic-the furniture was pretty much in good shape but not first rate, and the walls needed some paint. But aside from that, it was complete. The only thing missing was the TV set, which neither Rei nor Shinji cared for.  
  
Rei was examining the sleeping accommodations of the apartment curiously, noting the layout and arrangement. Indeed, a couple had lived here, for there was only a full sized futon, at least apparently. Out of sheer curiosity she padded across the tatami mats (they'd taken their shoes off already) and opened the closet. A dresser was there along with a rolled up futon, as she'd expected. Usually people had a spare for guests. It wasn't uncommon.  
  
Shinji stood out on the balcony observing the breathtaking view of the city. Miyagi itself, the center of Miyagi Prefecture, wasn't very big compared to Tokyo-3 or even Osaka-2. However, it was large enough to look imposing and beautiful in the midday light. He liked the apartment, and thought it fairly fortunate that it was already furnished. It would save them an immense amount of money.  
  
When he turned back, he saw Rei standing behind him expectantly, waiting to hear his assessment of the locale. With a smile, he nodded his affirmation.  
  
"This place looks like it will suit us nicely, Kaede," said the young, former pilot of Unit-01.  
  
Rei, having been silent for nearly an hour now, finally spoke up. Her voice wasn't loud enough to carry to the living room, and was for his ears alone. "Yes, I think we will be able to stay here. I will make the arrangements."  
  
And so, with little fanfare the 'arrangements' were made, Rei making the transaction in the form of hard currency, which she'd exchanged for the money in the foreign account. Such an account, she argued, would immediately draw attention to them and mark them as outsiders. Neither of them could afford that luxury, especially since finally settling down on a particular town. Now they had to literally, live the lie. Old secrets became new lies and old lies became new truths. It was a strange feeling, Rei had, in the pit of her stomach. A giddiness almost, as if everything started -here-.  
  
Shinji watched absently as 'Asano Kaede' took care of the finance and had the first payment, and last payment, plus the security deposit taken care of. In total, they spent about 180000 yen, roughly 1600 U.S. Dollars.  
  
Etsuko, thoroughly satisfied that she had what looked to be stable rent money from a newlywed pair, mustered some thanks and well-wishes and then was gone, leaving the keys after signing the lease for the apartment. She would be by every last of the month to pick up the rent money.  
  
The two companions found themselves unpacking what little belongings they had of their own, in their new shared bedroom. Shinji divided the table into two imaginary 'halves' and separated their normal stuff, such as cards, SDAT player, and other little things both carried. It was symbolic, to both of them, the beginning of something new. They were kneeled in front of the table, its lantern light on, setting their space up, when Rei removed from her bag a small case. Shinji immediately recognized it, and began to feel sick to the stomach.  
  
Inside that case, were the old glasses of his father, NERV Commander Ikari Gendou.  
  
Rei seemed to notice the wide-eyed look Shinji had fixed upon the personal effect, and arched an eyebrow. They had already begun to develop some non- verbal cues, most of which were Shinji picking up on Rei's facial expressions, however limited they were.  
  
"You don't intend to keep those, do you?" he asked earnestly, probing her deep rose eyes for an answer, his heart catching in his throat. Those glasses represented an awful memory of an equally abominable person.  
  
A long time seemed to pass before Rei opened her mouth in a small, surprised 'o'. Eventually, words came. She shook her head no, and said, "I do not. I am no longer his doll. I will not live in the false memories he fostered in me."  
  
Shinji was relieved, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. It was hard enough remembering that he'd dropped everything to do this, his duty, his previous life, but to have to face a daily reminder of why he was forced to take such extreme measures, would be a cruel fate indeed.  
  
"Naruhodo." [indeed], murmured Shinji quietly. He watched as Rei turned her attention to the small window in their bedroom. She rose from her sitting position, the case of glasses in her hands. She opened the beige case with care, then, seemingly in complete opposite of her demeanor, she crushed the frames and lenses with her bare hands, cutting her hands on glass in a couple of places. Then with a sigh of either relief, or was it weariness, she hurled both out the window, watching them clang against the fire escape, then into the abyss of the mountainside that veered downward to form the bowl of the city.  
  
From his vantage point, Shinji watched this spectacle with awe. He really hadn't expected her to give up on that old life so easily. Then he realized that she wasn't 'giving up easily' but rather determined to throw it away and not show the results. It struck him how dedicated she was to a decision once she made it, and warmed his heart to know that she had decided to come with him on this ludicrous escape from NERV.  
  
When she returned to her seat in front of the night table, she looked at Shinji, and flashed him one of her rarest, full smiles. "It is done. There are no things here now that will remind us of what we left behind."  
  
Shinji smiled too, agreeing with her sentiments, at least those he was aware of. Tenuously, he reached out his hand towards hers, wanting to feel connected to her somehow in this quiet moment, to know she was really there. To his surprise, she accepted his hand, and gripped it tightly. Her skin was warm and quite soft, soothing.comforting.  
  
New lies could one day become truths, thought Shinji, for the first time in so long, filled with a reason to live. Beside him, Ayanami Rei sat with Shinji's hand in hers, and a new experience. Now she had the will to live.  
  
A shrine outside Tokyo-3's Outskirts--- (Same Day)  
  
The funeral procession was quite small. In fact, there were very few civilians at all at the proceedings that day in the small shrine on the fogged-over hillsides of Tokyo-3. It was overcast and a tad brisk for most there, so some were in dark coats. Everywhere there were NERV section 2 officers, obtusely keeping guard on the private funeral for two of NERV's fallen operatives, servants of their nation and their human race. The air was solemn and not just thick with fog but with the grief of those present, all who stood in front of two large stone markers on the shrine's burial ground. It was a Shinto-Buddhist funeral held in absentia-that is, there were no bodies to speak of, however some ashes had been gathered up from the Okinawa site, formerly the Murashima Inn. Mr. Murashima himself was in attendance, along with his family, paying respects to their departed patrons, something of a personal choice made by the family to honor the two fallen soldiers of NERV.  
  
The markers were not like those in the so called 'Barren Cemetery" where Ikari Yui's marker had stood for nearly eleven years now. This was something a bit more ornate, something more.personal. The decision had been made on the parts of the Director of Planning and Operations, Captain Katsuragi, and the sub and first commanders, Fuyutsuki and Ikari respectively. Misato had handled the arrangements for Shinji's marker, Gendou having refused any involvement except in that of Rei's.  
  
Now the two stood side by side, in death as they'd been in life, while fighting in Evangelions. They were marked in Kanji: Ikari, Shinji, and Ayanami, Rei. Both had their dates of birth and then death, with two small stars with the romanized letters K.I.A.-Killed In Action. On either side of each marker was a Japanese flag representing their nationality, and on the other, the banner of NERV.  
  
God is in His Heaven. All is right with the World.  
  
For many in attendance, that statement was almost mocking in its lack of truth. The two pilots that had warded off the most angels together were now gone, each leaving a hole in the heart of one person. In Misato, she felt the loss of Shinji, as the son she never had and was never able to properly care for, or even demonstrate appropriate affection without coming out perverted. For Ikari Gendou, it was a loss of his protégé, and the closest tie he had to his wife, and a 'daughter'.  
  
While the Shinto priest went on about the spirits of nature, a Buddhist monk set sticks of incense ablaze, filling the air around them with their intoxicating scent.  
  
In a line were the employees of NERV who knew the pilots best: Misato, Asuka, Dr. Akagi Ritsuko, Lieutenants Ibuki, Hyuga and Aoba, Kaji Ryouji- who, alike the commanders, was dressed in the conservative garb of NERV Command and Control-and of course, both Fuyutsuki and Ikari. Notables among the civilians were Hikari Horaki, Touji Suzuhara, and of course, Aida Kensuke. All three of them were doing their best to keep from crying in front of the others. Hikari was failing, dabbing her cheeks with a handkerchief.  
  
Misato was holding herself well, all things considered. Oh, she'd cried alright, but, she felt as if she had no tears left. Vaguely she imagined that was something Shinji might have said-being sad without tears. Her thoughts went out to the great Void, and whatever lay beyond, and prayed that Shinji and Rei were safe in the hands of whatever kami existed out there. She stood crisply, in full dress uniform, alongside Ritsuko, who looked dispassionate, and Maya, who was somewhere between feeling ill and crying. She'd cared about Shinji as a co-worker and a friend, having been the communications link between Eva-Unit-01 and control, she still had his screams echoing in her head. She sympathized deeply for Shinji and Rei.  
  
"So we thus lay down our dead, for with them are our hearts and prayers, that they shall find in the beyond, the peace which eluded them in life.." said the priest, who wore a traditional white kimono with a stark red hakama, assisted by similarly garbed priestesses. "for their torment has ended and they are now one with the air, the ground, the trees, and the water. We pray for their watching over us as we watched over them, and secure their memory within the eternal walls of our hearts so that in them, they may live unto the end of time."  
  
All of the participants bowed low, the ceremony finished. Each person put a flower, or sometimes a set of flowers on the mantles of the two markers, right next to the photos of the two pilots.  
  
Asuka was having a hard time coming up with a mental summation of how she felt. In the end, she didn't hate Shinji nearly as much as she did the First Child, but even now, she couldn't hold herself to keep such a fierce hatred even in death. She felt that she owed them at least that much respect, because she knew she would have wanted it too. She definitely would have wanted it. Her black skirts shifted as she walked to Shinji's marker and set a white rose on it, stifling a small tear.  
  
"Baka Shinji, make sure not to waste eternal rest." She closed her eyes for the briefest of moments and then made way for others. Each person said a word or two to the deceased, including Ritsuko, who, ironically, told Shinji and Rei to "take care of each other", pointing out neither of them had ever known how to live.  
  
Finally Misato came up to the two markers, and left a bouquet each. "Well, I hope you two can find peace, Shinji. I'm sorry for not being there when you really needed me."  
  
Lastly, after all had left, Kouzou Fuyutsuki and Ikari Gendou stood side by side in front of the two sham graves. Their mood was very indifferent. In fact, they didn't even address the markers and who they represented. Instead, Kouzou gave Gendou a sideways glance.  
  
"Are you sure, Ikari-kun?" he asked pensively, looking at Pilot Ayanami's photo with a bit of melancholia. "We could be wrong."  
  
"I am not wrong, Fuyutsuki-sensei. We cannot distill her soul. She is still alive." Ikari Gendou stared at the stone markers with complete, inner rage. He'd never been so frustrated, with one exception, and that had been when he'd lost his Yui. This was becoming quite tiresome.  
  
We shall see, Ikari, who is right or wrong, thought Fuyutsuki soberly, glancing at Shinji's marker. There best be a way out of this, and right now, he thought he knew why this was going on. And if he had anything to do with it, he was going to give them what they deserved: a fighting chance.  
  
How the sins of the fathers weigh heavily on his shoulders.  
  
(A/N: If you want to know, this last scene was written to the tune of 'Anna ni Issho Datta no ni' -instrumental- from Mobile Suit Gundam SEED. I thought it an appropriate tune)  
  
Asano (Ikari-Ayanami) Residence- Miyagi Prefecture, Japan  
  
It was night. The sun had just set, ending a spectacle of light that shone through the windows of the apartment, reflecting off of buildings, and finally hitting their living room. Both travelers were beginning to settle in, feeling the drain of their sojourn through fear with tired faces and bodies. They'd eaten dinner, which had come in the form of instant ramen that night, they didn't have the means for much else on short notice. Soon the hunt for jobs would commence, so that they could continue this existence further. However, right now, both of them really didn't feel like thinking to the next day. Rather, they were content on eating their noodles on the low kotatsu table, across from each other, with most of the lights out. The city was bright with its artificial lights below, and there was a sense of peace in the 'Asano' apartment.  
  
Shinji finally finished his ramen and got up to rinse the bowl and his chopsticks. When he was done, he was in the bathroom that was adjacent their bedroom, washing up for the night. Rei followed suit wordlessly afterwards, until they were both in their room, sliding the door behind them.  
  
The only light was that from the small table lamp. It lay to one side, and the two futons were laid out on the tatamis a good distance away from each other. Shinji insisted that Rei take the full-sized one, for her because she had worked so hard, and he didn't need it anyways. She'd reluctantly accepted, being used to only the bare minimum in life.  
  
When they lay in their respective beds for the night, Rei killed the lights. In the darkness, there was only the sound of their breathing. Then:  
  
"Oyasuminasai, Shinji-kun." Rei called out from her side of the room, her voice carrying to his ears like the comforting melody it had always been to him, bringing him peace.  
  
"Oyasumi.Rei-san. Yasashii no yume desu yo." [Sweet dreams] he replied softly, smiling despite himself. He felt that he had enough courage to say that kind statement.  
  
To his surprise, she responded, "Anata mo." [You too.]  
  
Shinji, exhausted from their flight, both literally and metaphorically, immediately fell asleep on the soft futon and pillow. He silently thanked whatever gods there were for their safe arrival before finally submitting to the darkness of sleep.  
  
A meter and a half beside him, Rei was still awake, trying to sort out some thoughts. Most of them had to do with Shinji. She really never imagined herself living with someone else. But now that she'd spent considerable time with Shinji in the last few days, she was beginning to realize he was not a difficult person to deal with. In fact, she was growing fond of his constant company. He did as much as he could to make her feel safe and protected, as well as to feel cared for.even loved. She felt that was important to her now, because the only 'ties' she had now were to Shinji. She could not afford to lose him at this point. She didn't know how she would be able to do it without him. He was the one who'd actually lived a life that didn't simply consist of experimentations and orders. He'd a life before Tokyo-3. A semi-normal one albeit, but more experience than her, and she found herself depending on that experience. While she did, in fact, handle the finances, it was he who'd found the apartment and led them there, called Etsuko, and so on.  
  
How did she feel now about him? Did this need arise of something else? A caring deeper than just two runaways with no one else? Or was it because they had no one else and therefore, were obligated to be closer? She did not know. She felt that now more than ever, a bond was growing between them, not only of mutual concern for safety, like they had as pilots, but for emotions, feelings.for each other. Rei found herself.contented when she remembered Shinji was nearby.  
  
And that nearby Shinji, at that moment late in the night, had decided to become quite vocal. He was rolling about in his sleep, mumbling things. She watched him though the light from the city coming trough one of the windows and saw his mouth move, and then words came out.  
  
"Rei.no.don't..please.Otosan, .yameru! [STOP THAT!].Rei.don't die.Rei.." His face, with eyes twitching in the throes of REM sleep, contorted in agony and fear. Rei, in reality was powerless to stop it.  
  
She realized he was having a nightmare. Immediately, a memory surfaced in her mind: the first time she'd met him. It had been during the approach of the 3rd Angel, Sachiel, when Rei was still in the clutches of her injuries from Unit-00's failed activation test. She'd been spilled onto the gantry, and then, the next thing she knew, Shinji was holding her in his arms, trying to comfort her and shield her, right before he jumped into EVA Unit 01 for the first time. She remembered how good it felt to at least know someone cared in the slightest, to feel that warmth.  
  
Without hesitation, Rei rose from her bed and dragged her futon up against Shinji's even as he was still thrashing about like a fish out of water, muttering curses and calling out Rei's name in desperation, then his classic line: I mustn't run away.  
  
She slipped back into her own bed and then rolled over to Shinji, and as gently as she could, wrapped her arms around him tightly, holding him still, pressing her warmth against him. He felt cold and damp with sweat, and was trembling. Almost immediately, he began to ease, and his motions became smaller until he stopped altogether. An absent arm wrapped itself around Rei and held on for dear life.  
  
Satisfied that Shinji was safe in the dreamscape of his mind, Rei rested her head on the pillow next to Shinji's and closed her eyes for the night.  
  
-Author's Notes: Heh. Chapter Three: DONE. I hope you enjoyed it. It took a bit of doing to put together this one because the threads are starting to become more distinct. Oh, yes, and I promise to have some more Kaji in there like I said I would. And before the topic even becomes an issue, I want to address the entire Rei-Shinji thing: Rei and Shinji are in no way related. Rei is only half-human at best, making her not even technically the same species as Shinji. Genetically speaking, the only things that link them are mitochondrial DNA and other traits that are common among human beings, Yui's DNA aside: There was only enough to give her human form similar to Yui. That is a significantly SMALL piece of DNA. At best, Rei and Shinji are different genus of a species-family.  
  
Also, to those of you who have been replying over the -kun, -san bit, well, here's the scoop: Yes, you can use -kun with girls although it's a bit rare and outmoded. There are only specific times when it is appropriate to be used with girls. Shinji and Rei up until very recently, had a strictly business relationship, and using -kun indicates someone of equal or lesser status, regardless of gender. Its somewhat natural that Shinji use that honorific at that point. He changes to -san mostly because he's unsure of what to make of her, and -chan is far too informal at this juncture (at least for now lol).  
  
Thanks for all your reviews and support, I appreciate it very much. I hope to finish chapter four sometime within the next week for New Years. Look forward to: Finding jobs, finding secrets (Yeah, Kaji!) awkward moments, happy moments, and lots more in Chapter Four (The title is borrowed) The Sun Also Rises.  
  
So if I don't get it out by the holidays, on behalf of the Kazuhiko residence: Kurisumasu Omedeto gozaimasu!  
  
-Kazuhiko Kazuki 


	4. Being Now

Author's Note: First of all, I would like to apologize for my long delays. Many things in my life got in the way of finishing this chapter and coming back to fanfics (a death and another writing project) however, now that I have the time to continue 'Never Look Back' (and the long-scheduled revisions to previous chapters) things should go fairly quickly. Many of my original ideas have been scrapped, but since I got a lot of good reviews regarding this fic, I'll go on ahead with it. Thank you VERY much for your patience.  
  
Further notes: Since I don't want to go writing and re-writing as I go, I'm going to start this chapter as the 'rewritten' version so the following changes are to be taken into account (they will eventually be written in the earlier chapters, I promise).  
  
1.The Inn at Okinawa DID contain most of the students on the trip. Among the dead are some of the Children's classmates. Poor Toji, I killed his Osakan ass. J/k about Osaka, but he IS dead. -.-  
  
2.The money used to get Rei and Shinji out of Okinawa wasn't from an account but in hard, untraceable currency. No NERV Express for her.  
  
Other changes will be written in and aren't significant enough to mention here, read back once I update the old chapters. So here you go, Chapter four. Oh, and yeah, I can't guarantee the 'freshness' of this writing, since most of my ideas and mental notes are waaay beyond their expiration date. Proceeding chapters I promise will be better. Oh, and feedback, as always is welcome. And a request: If anyone has seen the Japanese film 'suicide club' please email me with suggestions or ideas about how to include several jumping school children falling to their own deaths from very large buildings. Thanks. -  
  
Disclaimer: Gainax owns everything. I mean, EVERYTHING....even this chair I'm sitting on. Kadokawa Owns my underwear, but you don't need to know that. Oops.  
  
Chapter 4: Pathways to Enigma  
  
Kaji Ryoji looked upon the debris of the inn at Okinawa and grimaced. There sure wasn't much left. The main building itself was in shambles, and there were still charred corpses everywhere. The smell of burnt flesh still lingered in the air; the trade winds refused to carry them away. The locale itself had long since stopped smoldering in most places, and now all that remained were the ruins and the NERV and U.N. security forces that canvassed the area.  
  
Snorting, Kaji walked amongst the rubble, and reminded himself of his orders: Find the children, find those responsible, and deal with each accordingly. He knew from his own sources that he would run into SEELE along the way, but that was a matter of course. Both Ikari and Chairman Kihi were running parallel investigations on the matter, and Kaji was now caught in the middle, servant of two masters.  
  
Slowly, the agent ascended the hill behind the burnt-out inn, his dark red tie fluttering in the light breeze that had picked up after much still air. On this grassy knoll, he spotted the Zen arch that stood untouched by the powerful explosions that rocked the surrounding landscape. Interesting, thought Kaji, this area wasn't affected...  
  
After a careful search he discovered there were signs of occupation in that zone of the land they were canvassing. As of yet agents had not analyzed this part of the plot of land, but on a hillside near the garden, there were several depressions and odd items one would bring to a picnic. Among them, half stuck in the dirt, Kaji saw a gleam of white plastic. Bending low, he plucked the item off the ground. On the small card it was written:  
  
IKARI, SHINJI,  
  
Tokyo-3 Municipal High School District  
  
Age: 14, Residence: C/o Katsuragi Misato  
  
First Year  
  
"Ara, it seems that I've been given a break," Ryoji smiled wryly, raising an eyebrow at the student ID card. Perhaps it slipped out of the Third Child's pocket? Most likely he didn't even know it was missing yet. But for Kaji, this was a little hunk of gold, proving the children had been somewhere else during the explosions. Even with the trouble identifying the bodies, there would be no Ayanami Rei or Ikari Shinji among them, he knew. Obviously there was something on their minds about living as EVA Pilots and somewhere along the line, the decided the attack was as good as any reason to get out of dodge.  
  
Silently, he reprimanded himself. These children are in danger from all sides, including me. This is getting interesting.  
  
With that, the NERV agent left the bombing site and went to the closest airport. It was time to do a little old fashioned detective work.  
  
Miyagi-  
  
Asano Residence  
  
Sunlight began to stream into the dank and dusty room from the East, filtering in through slits in the blinds and hitting the sleeping faces of Shinji and Rei. The room was quiet save for the chirping of birds, and drone of cars passing by outside. Yet inside, nothing stirred. If one looked hard enough, they would be able to see the motes of dust in the air, bathed in sunlight, fluttering about noiselessly.  
  
This light, hitting the closed eye of former Eva Pilot Ikari Shinji, served as a wake up call for the sleeping youth. Before he opened his eyes though, he felt a warm mass against his side, and a soft susurration near his ear. Something or someone was next to him, he surmised, as he cracked his eyes open. It took some seconds for them to focus, but eventually, he was able to get his bearings.  
  
Laying next to him was Rei, sleeping peacefully with an arm draped over his chest. When she got there, he didn't know, but he could see that her futon had been dragged to his side as well. 'Why did she come over here?' wondered Shinji in slight disbelief. But before he could even voice such a question, he was suddenly too uncomfortable with the concept of being so close to Rei. She was a comforting presence, but what if she woke up, and caught him staring at her like that? And what of the sudden erection in his pants?  
  
'Damn it, this isn't the time to be horny!' Shinji thought, gripping silently about his own perversion. He couldn't even lie next to a girl without thinking perverted thoughts. But before he could get too deep into his own pathetic musings, the sight of Ayanami's sleeping form captured his full attention.  
  
A porcelain face rested near his shoulder, eyes closed, and mouth partially open, close to his ear. Soft, ice blue locks were draped haphazardly across those subtle features, serving like a screen, protecting her eyes from the sunlight. All in all, the scene was beyond words for the Eva pilot in their beauty. Idly, he wondered if he'd ever thought of Rei as a beautiful person, and realized he really hadn't until now.  
  
"Rei-chan..." he muttered absently, awestruck. His reverie on his companion did not last long though, since those words brought Ayanami out of her sleep without delay. Her hues opened quickly, glinting with reflected light, pools of vermillion staring directly into Shinji's own blue eyes. They seemed to look directly past him, to something in the far distance, beyond him. It made him feel quite ineffectual, and ill-at-ease all over again.  
  
"Yes, Shinji-kun?" said Rei quietly, barely moving her lips. She could not tell what time it was, but from the feeling in her bones she could assume she slept in quite some time, unusually so. What she wanted to know was, what had Shinji awoken her for? "Is something wrong?"  
  
Shinji stammered for a moment before managing a cheerful reply, forcing a bright smile onto his face. Rei's suddenness and lack of good humor made it difficult for him to speak easily with her, even now. "Good morning, Rei....uh, why were you...." He trailed off, unsure of how to phrase his question.  
  
Rei sat up abruptly, examining her situation. It was indeed late in the day, and morning was nearing afternoon. It made sense though, considering they ran on little sleep in getting this far. It would only be natural to make up for it. Shifting her legs under the sheets, she noticed that she was indeed entangled with Shinji, Then she remembered.  
  
"You were experiencing troubling symptoms, thrashing and groaning. I attempted to put a halt to them so you could continue sleeping, Shinji-kun." She informed him emotionlessly. If there had been affection in her actions, they were very-well hidden under her flat tone and expression.  
  
"Nightmares, you mean?" asked the boy with a confused look. Did Rei know what those were?  
  
"Nightmares...?" replied Rei, in an equal amount of confusion.  
  
"Bad dreams, you know?" he tried to enlighten her with another forced smile.  
  
"I do not dream. I would not know, Shinji-kun." was her answer. Somehow both of them realized that Shinji had not been expecting that, and a partial moment of mirth was shared between them. Shinji was surprised, however, that Rei did not dream. 'Maybe that's a good thing though', he surmised, 'that way you can't have nightmares.' But at the same time, he pitied her, because dreams meant hope. Hope of better things in life. After all, wasn't that why they left NERV? Evidently they still had many things to work out as human beings, but on different levels. Shinji immediately felt more responsible for her in that regard. If he could only barely take care of himself, he figured he should repay Rei the favor by helping her live. That train of thought though, suddenly brought a memory back to him unbidden.  
  
He looked from Rei's photograph on the ID card to Ritsuko and Misato, after hearing their accusations that he looked quite interested in it.  
  
"She isn't good at it though," said Dr. Akagi with a knowing look.  
  
Confused, Shinji blurted out, "At what?"  
  
"Living." Was Akagi Ritsuko's smug, a tad insensitive response.  
  
Shinji chuckled to himself. As he came to discover, that day even, by entering the First Child's apartment, her being 'bad at living' was a gross understatement. But one couldn't blame someone on that if they didn't know how to live. Invigorated with his sense of responsibility and yearning to help Ayanami, he recalled one thing that tempered him: he wasn't good at living either.  
  
Rei seemed to notice that Shinji had gone into a reverie, and gave him a penetrating, yet inquisitive gaze. "What is it, Shinji-kun? Do you find something amusing?"  
  
Shinji sobered up a little and snapped out of it, but continued to smile. "I was just remembering when I brought you your ID card, and what Ritsuko-san said to me."  
  
"How is that amusing?" she asked, at a loss for understanding. In some ways, he understood, watching her responses, she was like a child, and in some ways, completely adult.  
  
Maybe this is what you get when you make an adult without being a child, reflected the former Eva Pilot. He shook his head. "It isn't as easy as that Rei. Humor is hard to describe, and I'm not one to do it. It's something that...I don't know, makes you feel happy and laugh, but at the same time doesn't." He shrugged.  
  
"I do not understand." Rei answered coolly.  
  
Shinji put his hands under his chin a moment, and thought, hard. Why did he set these kinds of traps for himself? Oh, how he despised his own incompetence. "It's like thinking something is ironic, or watching something happening, but sometimes bad, that is interesting."  
  
Rei paused, and then furrowed her brow. "Such as watching Katsuragi-chii receive a scolding by Akagi-hakasei because of her drinking habits?"  
  
Shinji brightened, and before he knew it, threw a fist in the air. "Yes! Exactly!" And he laughed too, because Misato always seemed to be criticized for her odd habits, from drinking to food. He still remembered the fiasco with the curry and instant noodles, and the very foul-tasting result.  
  
"Then there are apparently, many things that are...funny." Rei concluded, almost as an afterthought, amid Shinji's whoop of achievement. "Shinji-kun?"  
  
"Hai?" he stopped his antics and looked back across the futon at his companion, wondering what she would ask. Maybe it was time for them to head out and look for jobs.  
  
Rei seemed to hesitate before asking, studying Ikari closely. "Why did you refer to me as 'Rei-chan' before?"  
  
Shinji blanched. He really was only half-awake when he had said that. But she'd been awake, and heard it! His embarrassment showed, as he went from first a terrified gray—an instinctive reaction when spending time with that new girl, Asuka—to a beet red of shame. "I don't know, Rei, it just sort of, came out, you know?"  
  
Rei digested this for a couple of seconds. Then, uncharacteristically, she seemed to smile. It wasn't much, just a tugging at the corners of her mouth. "You are fond of me then, Shinji-kun?"  
  
Shinji hung his head, but couldn't hide his warm, wry smile, even as his dark brown hair hung in front of his face. "I guess so...you treat me well, Rei, and you protected me during the attack on the Fifth Angel, like you said you would."  
  
The albino-like girl inclined her head to the side, weighing this. She didn't pretend to understand most people, and Ikari Shinji the very least of all. Unlike Commander Ikari, his son was a walking mass of complexes that she did not want to really sort out. He acted very differently from most children his age, she knew that much. It seemed he was always afraid, yet not of death. One who was afraid of death did not enter an Evangelion unit. He fought valiantly, and with passion. But what drove him? More importantly, why was he fond of her? Often enough Ayanami Rei wondered about the former, sitting waiting for Shinji to wake up from his multiple visits to the NERV Infirmary. Was that why? She couldn't fathom it really. She knew there were certain social rituals and rites people made when they got close to one another on an emotional level, but she never connected to them. That however, wasn't to be mistaken with the idea that she didn't have emotions. Rei knew all too well that emotions could cloud the mind, and they had, such as her misgivings following a long loyalty to Commander Ikari, whom she was fond of in a certain regard, then grew colder towards once she began to realize how they were being used, even his own son, who obviously was pained and wanted no part in it.  
  
Yet what did she feel when she thought about Ikari, the Third Children, son of the Commander. No, he had ceased being 'Ikari-shirei's son', and had become 'Shinji-kun'. But what did it mean to her? A sort of comfort came to her, when she thought of Shinji. Not necessarily understanding, but a feeling of protection, and...caring. She felt similarly towards him, and sympathized with him, as well as having a good measure of respect for him. There was a certain, unspoken pact of watching out for one another that made them feel more content around each other.  
  
Finally, after a long silence, she managed to approach the issue. "Are you fond of me because of how I act towards you, despite what you perceive me as? Is that why you are kind to me, because I am kind to you?"  
  
Shinji subconsciously shuddered. Because I am kind to you... struck such a chord within him. In truth, what he sought was the kindness of others. The kindness friends and schoolmates had never shown him, the kindness he didn't know from his father. The absence of a kindness and warmth of a mother. Even living with his old sensei, there was no kindness, just courtesy. It chilled him to think that at his core, he was nothing more than a sponge for good treatment, and kindness. It made him hate himself, to have sunk to such a pathetic level, where his chief drive was pleasing others so he was treated well. Did Rei feel kindly towards him because he was Ikari's son, EVA 01 pilot extraordinaire, or because he was a person with worth?  
  
"I care about you, Rei, because you're a nice person. You want to take care of others. It doesn't look like that on the surface, but you always put yourself and your needs in second place, if that. You always do things for others before thinking about yourself. "he sputtered, his hands shaking slightly, which he promptly dug under the sheets to hide them. "You put my life above yours, and saved me. That's the ultimate sacrifice somebody can make, Rei."  
  
For the moment, Ayanami said nothing. Instead, she looked to the side, towards the door of their new room, which was cracked open slightly, some light coming through from the adjacent living space. Then, a feeling of warmth inside her heart, from a painful, yet special memory, provoked her to speak.  
  
"When we first me, Shinji-kun, the Third Angel was making its attack against us when Commander Ikari ordered you to pilot Unit 01. When I fell, with my injuries," she recalled, the scene appearing vividly in her mind's eye, "you held me in your arms to comfort me, and lessen my pain. Then, you piloted in my place, when I would have surely died. You make sacrifices that are of no less importance than my own, Shinj-kun. I feel...less empty, when I am reminded of that, when I see you."  
  
The Third Child looked up from his seat, his hands still trembling and smiled brightly, eagerly, completely surprised that Rei would say that. "Honto ni? [Really?]"  
  
"Hai." When Shinji looked up, he saw that Rei was smiling. Not something that was half hidden or inadvertent, but a full smile, one he hadn't seen since when they were in Unit 00's Entry Plug, and tears were in his eyes, tears of fear for her life, for her safety. She was so angelic, her azure hair clinging to her cheeks and falling just above her neckline and shoulders. Even her normally intense eyes brightened and her eyebrows arched. She looked genuinely....happy, at ease.  
  
Before she knew it, Rei was embraced by the boy's arms, which held her in a gentle, yet firm grip, holding her very close, his head buried in her shoulder. She felt tears on that shoulder, Shinji's tears. Was he sad? Upset? No, she reminded herself, people cry when they are filled with joy as well. Just like that time...  
  
Rei was not moved to tears, but she was indeed happy, and when she heard Shinji's 'thank you, Rei-chan', all she could manage was to hug him too.  
  
After they got ready for the day, and ate at a local ramen shop, Shinji and Rei were prepared to go job hunting. It wouldn't be easy, since both of them had no experience that was meaningful to common people.  
  
"Maybe we can put up signs that say, 'Will Kill Angels for Food'," Shinji joked, despite his anxiety. In very typical fashion, Rei missed the joke, and gave her opinion on the idea.  
  
"That would attract undue attention," she said, "and we no longer have Eva units equipped with AT fields to destroy the Angels."  
  
This actually made Shinji laugh, even if he felt a little bad that it was at her expense. He grinned. "I guess we still have to work on that humor thing."  
  
"I see." She nodded. Rei had already donned her 'disguise', which was the dark brown wig, that somehow looked a little funny to Shinji, due to the fact that seeing Ayanami without that outrageous hair of hers was just odd. They were using their recent first payment and last payment of the rent on the apartment as proof of residence, toting the lease papers that Etsuko had so cordially left with them the day before. Now, in this town, they were Asano Minoru and Asano Kaede, 19 both, just out of high-school. The tough part was next: Finding employment that could keep them going.  
  
Rei had an extensive amount of knowledge, that she acquired both from working in NERV as well as school, which, while she did not pay attention to, still got top marks. Shinji, on the other hand, wasn't blessed in mathematics or any other scientific area, nor was he very personable, but he did take orders fairly well. So, he looked at office jobs. Rei, on the other hand, decided that something similar, yet not as draining as being an errand-girl would suit her best. There seemed to be an opening in the local library for a receptionist and reference expert. For now, that would just have to do.  
  
Shinji followed Rei, or rather, his wife, 'Kaede', to the municipal library, and introduced her to the manager of the establishment under their assumed names. He wanted to be around to see if she would get the job or not, or if the manager was a good person for Rei to work under.  
  
The head librarian of the Miyagi Prefecture Regional Science and Research Library was a man no older than thirty-five, someone who was probably in high-school or college during Second Impact, and his weariness wore on him visibly. Square glasses sat on top of a sharp nose as well as bushy eyebrows and greasy hair. He was also very skinny, equaling Rei in bodily appearance, but of course, more masculine. His name was Hane Kenji, and he was the Administrative Director.  
  
His office, of course, was fairly small, but it was nice enough, if crowded with papers. He sat behind an equally small desk and a large computer monitor that looked a little outdated. But, of course, both Rei and Shinji had seen far more imposing and impressive office spaces, namely that of Ikari Gendou, possibly one of the most powerful, fear-inspiring men on the face of the Earth.  
  
"Ah, so you've come about the help wanted ad? Good." Hane said after they introduced themselves with the usual politeness and directness. "I need someone to do filing and some secretarial work for the library, considering my last person quit to go to Tokyo-3 for some sore of government job."  
  
"Hai," Rei gave him the usual treatment, as if she were back in NERV all over again, going into full-business mode almost automatically, to the unvoiced dismay of Shinji. Well, she did work hard in that state, so for the moment, he couldn't really find fault with it. "How much compensation would there be, Hane-dono?"  
  
Hane gave the strange woman a quick glance, for the first time really looking at her. She was an odd one indeed. Is she sick? She's so pale! He thought idly while writing a figure down on a piece of photocopy paper and sticking it out to her with a free hand. The kid next to her didn't look too impressive either. But then again, there were all sorts, right? Hane sighed and returned to typing, awaiting a response from Asano.  
  
Rei gave Shinji a sidelong glance. "It is enough, provided you find near-equal payment for yourself."  
  
Shinji looked over her shoulder at the pay rate written on the Post-It note and nodded grimly. It was average for a small job like this, but adequate for their needs. Combined with paced use of Rei's cash stash, they would be able to survive a while until he found something better. He gave his agreement with another nod. "Take it."  
  
By this time Hane had stopped typing at his console and looked at the pair again, and produced a clipboard with applicant-data areas blank. "Here, fill this out. I won't ask for experience, this is a library, not a physics faculty, so, have fun. You can fill it out in the lobby downstairs."  
  
Rei took the clipboard and attached pen and gave a simple acknowledgement before heading out without so much as a word to Shinji. He, slow on the uptake, stood there for a moment until he decided to follow her, but a request from Hane brought him to a halt mid-stride, just at the doorway.  
  
"Asano-kun, you're her husband, right?" Hane asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. He knew that probing too much would seem impolite, but those to had some weird jive to them that he couldn't shake, so having just a little more information about them would help ease his nerves. After his hiring fiasco involving an illegally-immigrated gaijin who bore a strange resemblance to Jesus Christ crossed with a hippie from forty years back, he'd become just a tad paranoid about who he employed.  
  
"Uh...Yeah." Shinji said, turning around with some dissatisfaction. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"Aren't you two a little young to be married?" he pressed.  
  
Shinji gulped, but masked his unease with forced humor. "I guess you could say that she took my heart away, ne? She was my High School sweetheart."  
  
"Marrying so young is a little irresponsible." Hane commented offhandedly, unimpressed.  
  
"Sorry," Shinji apologized. "I know." Before he could realize it, he was bowing his head in contrite apology, yet, several seconds he noticed the absurdity of it. He wasn't actually married to Rei. Perhaps he was getting a little too deep into his role. I didn't do anything wrong yet I'm saying sorry again. I'm so pathetic.  
  
"Hey, don't apologize to me, kid." Hane was surprised at the kid's reaction to his admonishment, even if it was light. Something was just a little wrong with him. Maybe his wife would give him some self confidence. "Hey, don't get down. You probably love her a lot to have married her so soon, so have fun. Go, she's probably done with those papers by now anyways. Have a nice day, Asano-kun."  
  
"Hai. Ja, ne." Shinji feigned a smile and stepped out. The library itself was pretty much spotless, and resembled more a lab than a place of books. But that was to be expected of a science library, where people really cared about the material. Actually, Shinji was a little impressed by it all, and nearly forgot to stop when he met Rei in the lobby, who had already given her papers to the secretary at the front desk, who said she could take them for her once she was done.  
  
"I am ready to go." She informed him.  
  
Shinji, a little unnerved by his slip-up in Hane's office, took Rei's hand in his, and grinned. He whispered to her. "It makes our lie a little more believable."  
  
"I see....your hand, it is very warm, Minoru." Rei said 'in character', using his new name. She didn't understand why people needed physical contact to believe themselves united to another person, but the symbolism was obvious. And since it suited their needs, she allowed him to hold hands with her as they exited the library and walked the town, even if she was a little embarrassed. She'd never held hands except with Ikari-shirei, but even those memories were very vague and fuzzy.  
  
Shinji didn't find a job that day, but, they did manage to get home without spending too much time commuting. Things were going well enough, and they weren't in dire need as of yet, Rei explained to Shinji, but they could only hold out like that for a month or so before he would need a job. She did acknowledge, though, that luck had been on their side so far. So all was quiet in their residence as they spent the remainder of their evening eating and musing over their thoughts. While Rei dwelled on the practical for the time being, Shinji's mind was on Tokyo-3.  
  
I wonder how Misato is doing, and Ritsuko-san, and the guys. Shinji sat near the big living room window, watching the sunset. How long had it been since they left Tokyo-3? A few days? A week? He couldn't tell. After the bombing, everything was a blur. Was the class alright? Hopefully, not many people had died. He couldn't help worrying about his friends Aida and Toji, and Misato, of course. Misato had been kind to him, even if she was demanding. What was highest on his mind though, was whether or not the Angels had come yet again.  
  
Eventually, the hour grew late, and Shinji was beginning to feel tired. After taking a shower, he settled in for sleep, and before he knew it, Rei was next to him, wordlessly comforting him for what may prove to be a night full of worries and inner demons.  
  
With the weight of his desertion heavy in his heart, but to vague to speak of, Ikari Shinji fell asleep.  
  
-Tokyo-3  
  
Near NERV's Central Dogma  
  
(Earlier that day)  
  
1:00 PM Tokyo-Standard Time.  
  
"This is what we're supposed to wear?" Horaki Hikari said plaintively, looking at the black and navy plugsuit that was sitting in front of her on the bench in the girls' changing room. Nearby, Asuka watched in amusement at the newcomer's disbelief.  
  
In the days following the massacre at Okinawa, there had been quite a hubbub concerning who would fill the shoes of Pilots Ayanami and Ikari. The only seeming good fortune that NERV had was the successful completion of Unit 03 in the United States at NERV-2, with the added bonus of being the first EVA unit equipped with an S2 Engine.  
  
That, for two or three days, still left the planning and operations department of NERV down two pilots and with several unresponsive EVA units, which Dr, Akagi hypothesized would not take new pilots easily. After all, Unit 00 had barely activated with Rei, and was still prone to bugs, and Unit 01 was...the exclusive property of Ikari Shinji. They tried to get Asuka to pilot it, but the feedback created by the mental impulses from both Asuka and the EVA created such utter chaos on the synchro-graph that synchronization, and subsequently, re-activation, a near-impossibility.  
  
When the announcement of Unit 03's completion hit NERV, there was a momentary respite. Yet they still were undermanned. However, before despair pervaded upon the Science Department under Akagi, and while there was an entirely different kind of mood within Planning and Operations, the good news came. They had a pilot.  
  
Horaki Hikari, classmate of both of the deceased pilots as well as the remaining Sohryu Asuka Langley, was determined to be the Fourth Child. It was announced to the members of NERV who were cleared for it as something of a coincidence, and no one paid any mind.  
  
Ikari Gendou, however, knew otherwise. As he'd explained to Fuyutsuki with a bit of annoyance, "The other one—Suzuhara, is dead too, so we can't use him." And that was that, and for the moment, SEELE seemed to be keeping themselves leashed. On the outside.  
  
This of course, was completely unknown to the pilots or Misato. But that didn't stop speculation, especially with the Fourth Child, Hikari, as she dressed into her plugsuit. It was odd, since one had to be completely naked before entering the suit. And the suit was usually cold and slick inside. It was a very unnerving sensation, feeling that cold, smoothness all over, even near intimate parts. She suppressed a shudder, but got along, and hit the suit-retract button that made it form-fitting and even more strange.  
  
"Hey, you don't look half-bad in one of those, Hikari!" Asuka exclaimed with a grin, sizing her friend up in the locker room.  
  
Hikari wasn't amused, but played along for Asuka's sake. A lot had been asked of her lately and since she was the ranking and remaining veteran pilot, she was receiving the brunt of responsibility should an Angel attack. "You think?"  
  
"Uh huh!" she nodded vigorously, finishing off her own plugsuit and donning the Neural Interface Feedback-Inhibitor modules on her head. (A/N: Yes, I came up with that. I know how lame I am. Stop looking at me...) "Hyuga and Makoto will be all over you."  
  
"Damn, Asuka, you always think such eechi thoughts!" She exclaimed only half-scornfully. "You're beginning to sound just like Shinji did, or at least, how you said he did. Or on of the Three Stooges at least."  
  
That hit home. Asuka piped down and looked at the floor. "You're right. But, things have been depressing around here, Hikari, so why do we have to be so serious?"  
  
Unimpressed, Hikari pressed Asuka for more as they got in the elevator to the cages and catwalks to Units 02 and 03. "You can't avoid it that easily, Asuka-chan. You liked him and you know it."  
  
Asuka, cornered, became angry and rebuked her friend abrasively. "I did not! Who would like someone who was such a pathetic dumbkopff? He had his good points, but that was it!"  
  
"Geeze, Asuka," replied Hikari, "No need to get so touchy. Besides, be easy on me, this is my first real mission."  
  
Asuka simmered down, and after several minutes, they were situated in their individual Entry Plugs. Through the com system, the activation statistics were being read by Lt. Ibuki and the two techs Hyuga and Aoba.  
  
On the command deck, Katsuragi Misato stood stonily, holding her own. She hadn't gotten over her grief, but she knew how to do her job, and the way she could to it now was with this A-17 order and take the fight to the Angels. All she could do now, though, was wallow in her anger until she was to leave for the drop-site at the mountain.  
  
"Do you think Hikari can hold up?" Ritsuko asked from behind Misato, sipping a cup of coffee. Ritsuko had been one of the least-hardest hit members of the core group that knew the children. Of course, she felt the loss of Shinji, but in a distant-friend sort of way. Rei on the other hand, was a godsend, yet a grave annoyance. She was her project and he wanted her back. Of course she was alive. No one knew about Shinji, and personally, it didn't matter either way to her. No...Ikari had to have his way with that doll. Actually, she didn't feel like thinking about it, so she focused on Misato's answer.  
  
The Operations and Planning Director shrugged. "She seems well-prepared enough, even given the short notice. I'm just anxious because of the ASDF and the fact that we could all suffer all the more for any mix-ups."  
  
Ritsuko nodded resolutely. "Well then, we mustn't fail. Otherwise it's our asses."  
  
Misato could only grunt. Better the Angels than us. Let them have at it then.  
  
Tokyo-3  
  
NERV Terminal Dogma  
  
Office of Commander Ikari  
  
(That night)  
  
Gendou stared indolently at the scene beyond the glass of Terminal Dogma out onto the lower-geofront. The office was well two kilometers underground, at the base of the Pyramid that made up NERV. Time was passing quickly, and the only think he knew was that he had to take action to appease the Old Men, who even now, hounded him daily and nightly. He cursed them.  
  
"Ikari-kun, you're being brash." Fuyutsuki muttered, moving a mahjong tile on the board behind the Commander with a soft click.  
  
"Please, sensei, don't be so disparaging. Not when that Ryoji is still in our hair and unfortunately, still necessary. Especially in this matter."  
  
Kouzou snickered, "So his assassination of the Japan Industries executives in charge of the JA project wasn't enough?"  
  
"The matter would be over and done with if he could produce Rei." Ikari stated, turning around in his swivel-chair to face Fuyutsuki, and the mahjong tiles.  
  
The other nodded, but then, rebutted just lightly, "Aren't you too concerned about Rei? The scenario doesn't need her until much later. The Adam Project is still on schedule, so we needn't worry that much."  
  
"All the projects are linked, Sensei. You know that as well as I do. Besides, this way we pull up the weed before it grows large." Ikari answered noncommittally.  
  
Kouzou snorted. "And the Fifth Child? Will we need him?"  
  
"It can wait Also, the Old Men aren't very willing to hand him over yet, especially since the development of Unit 03 was ahead of schedule. That was only a maybe in the scenario. They're getting nervous, Fuyutsuki." And it showed But Ikari was content to wait until the last moment before finally acting on that front. He had a month at least before things would threaten to get out of hand. If he could keep SEELE at bay for that long, then he would be satisfied. Still, he needed Rei.  
  
"I see. My they're stubborn. Do you plan on sacrificing Horaki to the 13th Angel?" He looked down at his printed, encoded copy of a part of the Dead Sea Scrolls and frowned.  
  
"We'll see. It may not be necessary, but it should prove interesting." That was the only response he gave to that unsavory question.  
  
Silently, Fuyutsuki cursed them both. He knew what he'd been getting into fourteen years before, but never had he imagined himself becoming so casual with life and death.  
  
We're going to rot in hell, he thought. And we deserve it too.  
  
-End of Chapter 4-  
  
(AN: You can imagine the outcome here, nothing different from Episode 10 I think it is, except for Hikari saving Asuka instead of Shinji. Therefore, I'm not going to bother writing that. But don't worry, I'll write a few combat scenes soon enough! Also, that scene with Gendou and Fuyutsuki was a warped version of the scene in the 'Weaving a Story Part I' Episode, but not really the same, and ended up only having the tiles and the little crossword book as the link .. Either way, I was marginally satisfied that I was finally able to give Hikari a powerful plot position, or at least, a potentially powerful one. She's just too good a character to leave on the side, and personally I believe it was a mistake of Sadamoto and Anno not to give her more exploration and lines. As for our heroes, well, they're getting on their feet but obviously have....issues. I don't want this to get WAFFy too quickly, as much as I love that sort of junk. XD. Now that I have an overabundance of time on my hands, you're getting this stuff about as fast as I can churn it out. Look forward to next chapter: More Angels, the Shinji-Rei Relationship Grows, and Kaji's Conspiracy Theories. Plus, I MIGHT be nice and let Kaoru out. Maybe. Just so I don't have to clean his cage anymore. Thanks for reading, and for bearing with my extended leave, I promise that stuff will come quicker now. Oh, and keep an eye of for 'Jesus', while I only referenced him in this chapter, his exploits will hopefully, become a bit of a comic relief. And for those who have a theory as to who he is a spoof of (not the real Jesus obviously), you're right, and go and tell him, and make fun of him for his evil, awesome hair. Ja ne!-Kazuhiko Kazuki) 


	5. Confessional

Author's Note: Hey again. Writing seems to be going well, as this is chapter 5. I hope you enjoyed chapter 4. And to those of you who griped about my usage of Japanese, look at the brackets after phrases, which nearly without fail (except in cases of the very obvious) contain concise translations. In any case, I think things are going to pick up speed now that I can shift some attention back to Tokyo-3, yet of course, that isn't my main story arc, as this IS a Rei/Shinji fic. Look out for some appearances from some of our favorites like Kaoru and Everyone's Favorite Old Geezers (SEELE). On a side note, I love those guys. It's actually very, very amusing to listen to them in the original Japanese cuts especially in the latter episodes and End of Eva. The voice actors were just so over the top, so Japanese 'Charlton Heston/James Earl Jones' that it gets sort of funny. I recommend those of you who like a good laugh to pay attention to their absurd yet well done vocals. Without further ado, Chapter 5. Also, be on the lookout for asterisks. I'll include little blurbs on them if I use an asterisk after something at the closing A/N .

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Gainax/Kadokawa Shoten. None of this is mine, no matter how much I loiter in their offices, bribing people with Krispy Kremes.

Chapter 5: Escape to the Beginning – Conspiracy Unfolding

Somewhere in Sendai,

Miyagi Prefecture.

Shinji stood just behind the yellow line of a JR train track, waiting at a metro station in lower Sendai for the inbound metro train to arrive. It was relatively populated inside the belowground station, and people were milling about: students in their seifuku, salary men in their neatly pressed suits and the average citizens, going about their evening. The day was ending and so was Shinji's, an unfruitful day of job-seeking.

Nearby, in the corner, attached to a pillar, a TV set owned by JR was turned to the NHK (Japanese Broadcasting Network) and the NHK evening news program, 'Across Japan'. The reporter went on...

"Two days ago in the city of Tokyo-3, two military officers killed in the Okinawa terrorist action, Ikari Shinji, and Ayanami Rei, were laid to rest in a private area of a local Shinto shrine. The two young officers served as part of the JSSDF..."

Shinji couldn't help but snicker at the whole falseness of it. Actually, he was rather surprised they'd bothered reporting it at all. He would have thought his father and sub-commander Fuyutsuki would have made sure there was no media coverage, but, perhaps they just needed the support for the JSSDF, in terms of sympathy. The representatives of the Japanese Strategic Self-Defense Forces always seemed so dour and irate when he ever saw them at NERV.

Wearing a pair of glasses that he didn't actually need, Shinji looked significantly different, subjectively, than his 'old self'. And he dressed the part too, wearing a semi-formal, button down shirt and tie, as well as slacks. Hopefully, no one would recognize him as someone supposed to be dead.

Finally, the train pulled up with a large amount of noise, and within moments, he and his traveling compatriots filed in and took their seats, heading out from the station with no fanfare, and for the most part, very little breathing room. As the train continued its travels out towards the outskirts, Shinji's mind roved. He couldn't help feeling ashamed of himself at not being able to find himself a job after a couple of days of looking, especially in a bustling place like Sendai. It was unfortunate, but he couldn't face Rei, knowing she was doing the grunt work. Maybe it was a little premature, but he couldn't help it.

On the bright side, he considered, they had settled in well and were already developing a routine. He hadn't yet accustomed to having Rei sleep side-by-side with him, but appearances did have to be kept up, and it wasn't uncomfortable, and Rei seemed to like it. Admittedly, he enjoyed certain aspects of it, mainly since it meant being near Rei, who now, to him, was his only actual link to the world. Steadily, they began to cherish their time together.

Noisily, with much jostling, the train continued on.

Tokyo-3, NERV

Gendou sat in front of the members of the Instrumentality Project's council. Namely were Chairman Kihi, and his usual four stooges, members of SEELE no doubt. All of this, of course, was through holographic conference.

"NERV Japan is back in operation." Commander Ikari informed dispassionately, but with confidence. "I see no reason for this concern."

Kihi disagreed. "Even if the Marduk Agency has provided you with a new Pilot, that still leaves us with money being put to waste on two EVA Units that have no pilots. And also, the Dummy Plug initiative..."

"Is at a halt, yes, but not indefinitely. We are in the process of re-distillation." Ikari countered before Kihi could go any further on the subject.

"We shall see about that, Ikari-kun." He snorted. As an afterthought, after all the other members of the project signed off, he added, "And I am not authorizing you to commandeer Nagisa yet. It is too soon. If he finds Adam..."

"Not even the Dead Sea Scrolls secrets will save us, I know. Third Impact. However, you gave me this position, now let me do my job, Chairman." Ikari interrupted again, sounding neither deferential nor impudent.

Kihi considered this, then nodded. "Very well, Ikari-kun, but as always, you are not to create your own scenario. Take any measures necessary to continue according to plan. And, of your search efforts?"

"So you do know." Ikari smiled wryly. "We will have the First Child in our hands soon."

"Good. Do not fail us Ikari-kun. Take care." With that, Kihi's image disappeared.

After that, Gendou turned in his chair and faced Agent Ryoji Kaji. He stared at him expectantly for a few moments before the smug, yet somehow respectful officer and odd-job errand boy for NERV responded.

"They're alive, Ikari-shirei. This..." Kaji, dressed in his NERV uniform, pulled the ID card from a pocket and tossed it onto Ikari's desk. "Proves that they weren't in the blast radius."

"You returned? Why." There was an implicit question just by word choice as Ikari gazed down unflinchingly at his son's photograph scornfully. Because of his insolence, they had more problems now than he cared for.

Kaji straightened. He had long since decided on how to handle the Commander on this issue. It helped that Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki was nearby, standing behind Ikari. It was a matter of making his report sound authoritative without making him sound as if he was leading NERV around the bush.

"Okinawa is a large island, by its standard in scale. The other Ryukyu Islands are numerous, as you know sir, and they've probably jumped ship onto any one of those islands." He began, after clearing his throat and saluting. "it is unlikely they went back to Kyushu or Honshu, considering the level of visibility in the airports. They're too smart for it. Therefore I request more men to scour the islands."

Fuyutsuki ended his perpetual silence with a grunt. "Why just come back to mainland Japan, where we have control, if they intend to flee? Perhaps they think that by staying in the islands, they could maybe even leave the country."

"True enough." Ikari agreed tentatively. He would give it the necessary time, but if Ryoji failed to deliver results, he would no doubt eliminate him from the equation. He already knew of his contacts in Kyoto, and he and Ryoji had a tacit understanding that for the moment, he was safe, but with numbered days. "I will assign direction of half of Section 2 to your disposal, with the cooperation of Captain Katsuragi."

"Are you sure that's wise, Ikari?" Fuyutsuki interjected. While he was willing to buy time, he couldn't support such an obvious invitation for the children's guardian to indefinitely prolong the investigation. He, was as of yet undecided, but he preferred to play it safe.

"It was her idea to have the First and Third Children sent to Okinawa. If she doesn't return them, or at least get pertinent information, then she will be removed." Ikari informed stonily, conscious of the dangers from both sides.

"Then do we make her aware, sir?" Kaji probed.

Ikari shook his head. "No. There is no reason to. She believes she is seeking out their murders."

"Hai." Kaji saluted again, and after being dismissed, exited the room into the hall. After giving a flirtatious wave and a wink to Gendou's secretary, he entered the elevator, and stood pensively, loosening his uniform collar. He just risked both his own life and Katsuragi's position in NERV, for what? Giving the kids a vacation? No. It was more than that. Even if he couldn't tell Misato the truth, she would have understood. He felt he could understand what Shinji had been thinking. No one fights Angels because they like it. Even Asuka piloted EVA because of the fame, not necessarily the 'thrill of battle'. If anything, EVA was the last thing Shinji needed. Maybe Shinji would escape, but eventually, Rei would have to return, or be sacrificed. Eventually, the Dummy Plug would activate Unit 01, and that would be that, no Ikari Shinji required to fight. It was only a matter of time. But until then, there was the pesky dilemma of what to do about Ayanami.

In the end, I'm only buying her more days of life until she will be brought back or killed. Am I wrong for it? Kaji asked himself before the elevator doors opened again. In ether case, it would buy him time to investigate NERV further, and hopefully, find out just what SEELE was up to.

When the doors opened, in stepped perhaps the last person Kaji felt like facing at the moment. But in any case, he forced a lecherous grin onto his face and bowed slightly as Katsuragi Misato, purple hair pulled into a ponytail, carrying a stack of papers, snack bar in mouth, strided into the elevator and elbowed a button on the panel.

"Oy, Misato..." He greeted informally.

After Misato finished her bit of snack, she gave him an annoyed sideways glance. "What do you want, baka?"

"To feel your lips pressed against mine, of course," he bowed again as if it were a great thing, and mock-humbled himself.

"Pervert. I stopped dating you years ago, Kaji-kun, wake up, please. Isn't Ritsuko being nice enough to you? Hit on her." Misato grumbled, leafing through her planning and status reports from the security divisions of NERV.

"Not quite. Anyhow. Katsuragi...is your job and vendetta here at NERV so much that you're willing to risk so much for it?" He asked suddenly, turning towards her and resting his back to an elevator wall. Meanwhile, the elevator's floor-counter ticked incessantly in the background, marking their ascent.

Misato was about to glare at him, but now caught flat-footed, fumbled for a reasonable response. Was it because of her ambivalence concerning her father that he was questioning her motives now? Surely no, because he long since knew of it. Was it because the children were dead? He knew how much those deaths impacted her. So what was the reason? What was the proper response? She couldn't find one. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Is it so important you're willing to risk the lives of people dear to you?" he urged her to reply.

"Who, Kaji? I have nobody, stop talking nonsense! What are you talking about?" she bit back, annoyed at his strange line of questioning. What was he getting at? Was he saying it was her fault the children died? Oh, no he wouldn't. She cared too much about them to let that stand, and wouldn't now. "If you even THINK that I didn't care about them—"

She was cut off when Kaji waved a hand. "No, never mind, it wasn't anything important, Katsuragi. I'm just being annoying."

"So yo!" [Damn straight].

Asano Residence

Same Evening.

"Tada-imaaa!" Shinji arrived home after getting off the train and walking to the first floor apartment he shared with Ayanami Rei. She was probably not yet home, but the ritual felt slightly comforting even if there wasn't anyone to welcome him back. At this point, there were things that would keep his mind of the questions he needed to address regarding his desertion of NERV, and ritual helped him forget to do so. Besides, it wasn't entirely negative or a bad habit, since he did in fact live with someone he cared about.

Slipping off his shoes, Shinji entered the living room and sat down on the couch. The sun was almost done setting, and darkness would soon encompass the little residence, and with it, Sendai. There was a startling amount of symbolic imagery here, he noted silently. The sunset represents an end to the day, perhaps the most obvious of such images. In their room, facing the east, was the sunrise. Was it fate that the images of beginnings and endings graced their home? It chilled him a little, but he promptly shrugged off his superstition and switched on his SDAT player.

He wondered how Rei had been faring at work. Her hours were long, and she woke up early in the day to catch the train to go to her job, and came back near dusk, or just a little after it. Shinji would try to find leads on work, and when that failed, toiled listlessly at home, wishing Rei were around, if only to make him feel more at easy. It was astoundingly selfish, he knew, but at the moment he couldn't bring himself to just move on. Rei seemed to be doing fine, why couldn't he? After all it had been his idea to leave NERV, and he had hoped he could someday, ever since fighting the Third and Fourth Angels, experiencing the pain and anguish of battle. The horrors of seeing the headless, yet living Eva.

Another thing occurred to him. Although he was fond of Rei, and considered her a friend, he knew next to nothing about her, besides her deplorable living habits and her connection to his father, who apparently had taken care of her since her youth. Even though he knew she had replaced him in his father's eyes, he couldn't blame her for it—it wasn't her fault for existing and she did abandon Gendou. He decided to ask Rei about her past, which was so shrouded in mystery and silent secrecy. But how should he broach the subject?

Shinji was asking himself about that when he saw the front door crack open, then swing fully open, admitting a well-dressed Ayanami Rei into their home. She said nothing for the moment until she took off her shoes and stepped onto the teak flooring of the main room. "Tadaima." [I'm home]

"Okaeri, Rei-chan." [Welcome Back...] he replied happily, taking off his headphones and standing up to greet her. For a moment, he fumbled, but then, decided to be forward and gave her a welcoming hug.

Rei seemed to stiffen for a little until she remembered that they no longer were just casual friends but living companions, not just fellow pilots or co-workers. Belatedly, she relaxed and returned the embrace with as much warmth as she could muster at that moment, unsure of what to do next. She settled on something practical, and asked after his job prospects.

Shinji reddened with embarrassment, and hung his head, resting it against her shoulder. "Nothing yet."

"Do not be embarrassed, Shinji, I am working and our money can hold out yet a month, so there is plenty of time." She reassured him, hugging him a little more forcefully, assuming it would help comfort him, like she did at night. It worked, for the most part, because Shinji lifted his head and stared straight at her. But something was odd there.

She examined his expression, and asked, "Is there something you wish to discuss? You appear preoccupied." When he nodded, she motioned for them to sit down, as she'd been standing on the crowded subway all of late afternoon and was tired. "What is it?"

Carefully, Shinji began to phrase his question. Being diplomatic about it seemed best, but he was worried that wordplay would be lost to her, since Rei was always to the point, and very, very direct. Yet she also didn't like talking about herself, considering she never, ever spoke of herself unless prompted to. The only real piece of information he'd gleaned earlier was that she couldn't eat meat, or animal products with certain strings of amino acids and complex proteins.

"Rei-chan, I know this may sound strange, since it never really came up before," he paused, glancing from her scarlet eyes to his hands intermittently, "But, I think it would be good for both of us to know more about each other, you know, if we're going to live with each other like this. About our past, so to speak. So we can get along better."

Rei was bemused, and stared blankly. "But I already know your past, Shinji, I read your file when we worked at NERV, the commander told me to do so."

Slightly frustrated, and on a deeper level, angered at her mention of his father, Shinji resolved himself to be more blunt. "What I meant, Rei-chan, is I barely know anything about you, and it's strange, since I care about you, yet the only things I know are the moments I've been around you and your eating habits."

Taken aback, Rei sat in silence for several moments. Her eyes averted from Shinji, and her hands folded on her lap, clasping each other tightly for support. How could she carry on? Would he insist on asking? To her, the origins she had were just that, and she knew they were unorthodox, but that didn't make her feel less alive. No, she was not a doll, but would Shinji think so? She realized that there was only one way to find out, unless she wanted to be constantly reminded of it, and doubtful that Shinji could see her as a person or not.

"I will tell you," she broke the discomforting silence, eyes roving from the windows back to Shinji's flustered face. "only if you promise to me, that you will tell no one else, and I ask you, to still treat me as you do now."

"Rei-chan, you're my friend!" Shinji persisted. "What could you possibly be hiding that would change that?"

"Perhaps you would not say that after you hear what I have to say, Shinji." She replied softly, sinking into the sofa. "Do you promise?"

"Of course, Rei." He said soberly, swearing it. He watched Rei for any sign of an emotional response. She relaxed a little, but her sagging into the seat was left up to interpretation. Rei seemed to have a completely different vocabulary when it came to body language, and making sense of it was a feat for Shinji.

Rei took a deep breath, and let it out, before even trying to speak. Why was she so afraid all of a sudden? There were few times Ayanami Rei had experienced fear, yet this, trivially it appeared, was one of those rare occasions. Was it that she didn't believe in Shinji? No, Shinji would not consciously betray her, and she knew that. But would his tormented heart betray his words, and her trust in him? Again, she had to trust, and currently, given their situation, she was given no choice but to trust him, and no others.

"I," she stumbled, but promptly found the words soon after, "was created by your father as a being created from both Angel, and Human DNA, with certain elements taken from the LCL that was the only 'remains'" she said that with emphasis, pointing out how tenuous the analogy was, "and a blood sample from your mother, who provided after her death the human base of the DNA, along with several others. My Angel DNA is made up wholly of Lilith, Second Angel's DNA structures. It by technical definition, makes me something other than human. The objective was to have a cross-synchronization program that would be able to run the Evangelions remotely. The Dummy Plug Program. I therefore, am expendable, and can be killed."

Shinji was aghast, and his eyes wide, tears began to stream down them. He seemed to question her with those blue hues, pleading for this to not be the truth.

"To do this, multiple clones had to be made, to have my own brain patters so that the Eva Units would not reject the program. I have also come to believe that I have already died at least once. I lost nearly all memory of my youth, living with your father except for very unclear images, well beyond the formulating age of memories. My soul is transferable, created, and distilled from Lilith, who is in Terminal Dogma, recovered from Antarctica after Second Impact. It is very likely NERV knows I am still alive, since they cannot take my soul into a new body at Terminal Dogma."

The boy had fallen silent by now, and the tears flowed without vocal support, he was too stunned to even cy out now, or sob. It was horrifying, the sheer...words did not express it.

"My primary purpose now is to help create Third Impact, and as such I have begun to develop an S2 core within me, where a normal human female would have a uterus. Therefore I can also not have children, as I was not intended to do so." Rei was near breakdown as well. She had not told anyone of this. There had been no one who needed to hear it from her. And it hurt Shinji so much, but she had to go on. "I was to Commander Ikari, a shell, a reminder of his wife until Third Impact, when all would be united under Instrumentality."

On the couch, Shinji had prostrated himself, and had his head buried near her thighs, and she could feel his anguished tears, either for Rei's lack of humanity, or for his utter disgust, she did not know which. They soaked her skirt, and she felt their moisture on her skin. Reaching with pale, slender hands, she cradled his head, his shoulders, in effort to stop his shaking. After a while it worked, and she tilted his head up, pushing on his shoulder to lift him a little.

"Shinji....do you still care about me?" she asked, her voice hoarse. She was on the verge of tears as well, because drudging up those thoughts hurt both Shinji and herself a great deal. It was no easy thing, knowing that one's existence was someone's plot and whim. "Please, Shinji, speak to me."

Shinji looked up to Ayanami with reddened eyes, blinking away hot tears of rage. He was not disgusted with her, but rather, was infuriated with the world, with his father, with God even, for allowing Rei to be that way, for allowing her to have to suffer so much because of someone's insane wish. He hated them all, because he was now with someone who was, except in the sense of spirit, not human, and could not help her, as much as he wanted to. The kind of rage he had was so impotent, and then, the anguish and sadness of knowing that somehow, part of his own mother was alive in Rei, though infinitesimal. "Rei-chan..."

His utterance seemed to have a strange impact on her, as she began to hold him even tighter. "Rei-chan...I still care...I..." He tried to make words come out, "My father..." he choked, "my mother...all of it..."

"Is true, but, yet, you still care about me." Rei affirmed for him, embracing him, feeling the need for it. Not just for Shinji's benefit either, lest he see her hands begin to shake from the repressed anger within herself. It was not without a certain irony people called her a doll, and she was the heart of the 'dummy' plug system.

Shinji nodded, before wrapping his arms around Rei so tightly, she gasped for breath. Then, she knew, that his caring and affection for her were real: his anger was not at her, for her deception. It was anger at everything –else-. "I...can't help you Rei, but...I want to...so much...they used you, worse than me..."

"I know," she said consolingly. "But no longer."

He clung to her protectively, as if the very walls would jump out and commit another atrocity against this beautiful being he cared for long before he knew her terrible, blasphemous secret. He knew, at a certain level, how unholy her creation had been. If God had a personality, he would have been the 'destroying, vengeful God' Christians so loved to refer to, the Almighty God. Yet, her spirit was holy, because it was of Lilith. She had the S2 organ, which made her Angelic, even if it was a play on words. If she were worse than any human being for her twisted existence, she was equally better than them for her purity in form and function. How could his father dare play with his mother like so? Now that he realized it, his impressions of Rei being motherly were probably an echo of some hereditary gene, some genetic fluke that showed itself on the surface. A haunting phenotype. How could he play with Rei that way, create a human being—if genetically marred, even if Angels were nearly genetically identical to humans—for that purpose. What justified such a hideous mimicry from such a sick, warped mind? He hated his father even more, and felt even more strongly for Rei than before. If he could not care for her, who would? She, who would have gladly given herself up in the fires of the Fifth Angel so that he might live, she who fled with him, stayed faithful at his side; who would care for her, love her, watch over her? Certainly not his father, in his perverted, crazed, half-delusional and manipulative way.

Still with tears rolling down his cheeks and onto Rei's slender, bony shoulder and pale neck, Shinji vowed that he would be better, the better Ikari. He had to. He knew it was futile, in a sense, because of his own pathetic tendencies, but at least it was something. It was something for the only person who seemed to give him real worth, who even now, he felt, shaking, worried he didn't like her anymore, didn't want her around anymore. It was the strangest sensation, the strangest emotion he'd ever felt, because it was so powerful, so ever-present, and so –fierce-. And with fierce protection, warmth, and longing, for happiness, for joy, for better days.

Rei was dealing with something similar, if less potently moving. She was overjoyed that Shinji had not rejected their friendship because of her true nature, her disturbing reality, and what it implied. She certainly didn't expect that reaction coming into this conversation, but she settled for it, since there really was nothing she could do. But what surprised her even more were her own feelings. She saw Shinji's anguish, his anger, which turned to protection, a need for comfort and giving comfort, an affection, and such loyalty as she had only seen in her mechanical allegiance to Commander Ikari, whom only now she realized, in looking through Shinji's eyes, was depraved. Craven. Maniacal.

She felt Shinji's warmth, his passionate sensitivity towards her. How? It was near instinctual. His promise had been kept, and he was more determined than she'd ever seen him, except in those times he fought Angels. Even then, that was different. He was an unwilling servant, like her. His 'passion' had been misdirected rage, it was diligence in seeking approval. This, however, was emotion for the sake of another. She felt it too; a deep want to never let Shinji go, or forget how strongly he felt towards her. She needed it, because that feeling he had for her, was the most anyone cared for her in her entire life. Knowing Gendou's ulterior designs, she knew that his was a caring that was surrogate, and false. To her, it had been lip service, but even lip service was good when you had nothing else. It was deception, love for the deceased. Why? Because she held the key to Third Impact where her womb should have been. She would give birth to a terrible child: the one of total annihilation, and that enthralled the Commander to no end. His Yui would spring forth from her willing sacrifice for him. She felt sick, but then remembered it was no longer true, because the person who felt for her possessed no such designs, and cared for her, Ayanami Rei, because she was...Ayanami Rei. Not the First Child, but 'Rei-chan'.

-Commander Ikari shall have me no longer, because now I will belong to Shinji, who cares for me, and needs me, who wants to protect me truthfully.- she thought, and vowed that she would never come back to NERV so long as the Commander drew breath, even if it meant she would die, only to be brought back to life, by an unholy device, and given life anew to suit his deeds. So long as she stayed with Shinji, so long as Shinji cared, she was safe. She was...home.

And Shinji, now done crying, but no less wracked with dry sobs, held her tightly still, pressing her against him for comfort, for warmth. "Rei-chan..."

"Yes, Shinji?" she tilted her head towards him inquisitively.

"Ai....aishiteiru."[I love you] he sobbed again, and pulled her face close to his, their cheeks touching softly, tenderly.

Rei was so deeply shocked that words eluded her for several seconds. So that was love, that feeling that Shinji displayed once his rage was spent? Was it love that she felt for him as well? What was love to begin with? Rei knew that the commander had loved his wife, so much that he would try to end the world's very existence for her. In his own way, that was his expression of devotion. Shinji's it seemed, like his father, was no less powerful. The commander never told her that though, never said to her those words, even as a child, or later. He 'cared' in a way that was not caring, not love, not affection. She was an item of nostalgia and affection for another. Now, she was the object of someone's most powerful and moving thoughts and feelings, that which was so plain, so real, that she felt so joyful of it, better than she ever did before, and more alive than ever before, because of that. Did she love him as well? Maybe. But she as of yet couldn't decide, but couldn't yet deny it. She knew what the traditional answer was, but did she feel that way? She needed more time to know what it was that lurked in her bosom for Ikari Shinji, who now was center in her own life.

"H...hai." Her choked and surprised voice managed only that, because her mind was not on forming words, but focused on comprehending the feelings and emotions within them both. –Love.- she mused, -the most beautiful of human emotions is what he feels for me. I have not known love.- Then, she recalled, -Loneliness is all that I know. Love is better than loneliness...-

Shinji knew exactly what he said. It may have been spur of the moment, but it didn't change how he felt for her. Rei was precious, sacred to him. It was true, that ever since he first spoke with her, first met her, he was fascinated by her. Then as they became pilots and comrades, the strange fondness developed. It was only a matter of time before he felt that way towards her. But he was happy for it.

But Shinji, being himself, was of course, worried, and also, stunned that she hadn't thrown him away, or rejected him, even after such a display. "Is it...alright, Rei-chan?"

Rei pulled away from him slightly as to view him, face to face, tear-streaked countenance to a now tearing, once pristine visage of a lonely girl with ice-blue, sky-like hair, now loved. Now...human as she never had been before.

"it is, Shinji," Rei assured with a nod. Then, she favored him with a weak, yet warm smile. "It always will be, Ikari Shinji. Your love...is...welcome...and comforting." Maybe it even made up for the fact that she was on borrowed time and energy. Maybe, just maybe, Rei was now really 'human', a real person whose soul was not for sale, because she possessed the love of another human being.

Ayanami Rei, for the first time in her memory, shed tears. Not of pain, but joy. She was never meant to feel loved. –She proved them wrong.-

"Shinji?" she blinked as those tears flowed slowly, her throat tight. "Is love...Is one capable of love, even if they do not know what it is?"

Shinji nodded, not quite understanding. At this juncture he was still a little out of it. Not insensitive, but overwhelmed. "Yeah. I don't think I've ever actually loved someone since I was a little kid, and even then that was different."

"Then, like you, because you do not know it yourself, I love you as well." She professed, smiling, then with a melancholy tone added, "I told you that I lived and Piloted because of my ties. Now I have better ties, and I no longer need Eva. I do not want to return to how I was before."

All Shinji could do was smile dumbfounded, gleefully accepting her words for all they worth. The last time he'd been so happy was when he knew Rei was safe after their battle with the Fifth Angel.

All they did that night, was manage to eat a little before going to bed. They hardly said a word. Each with so many thoughts in their heads, and such heady feelings that were entirely new, it was difficult to even do simple things. But eventually, they went to sleep.

For the first time in their lives, Ayanami Rei and Ikari Shinji went to sleep looking forward to what the next day would bring, with joy in their hearts replacing dread.

Tokyo-3 Outskirts

2:34 AM

Katsuragi Misato, Director of NERV Operations and Planning, stood, or rather, squatted before the two grave markers in the back plot of the Shinto temple on a mountainside that overlooked the Second Ashino Lake. The night air was cold, and chilled her even beneath her heavy, dark red jacket and thick cotton pants.

It was about a week now, since the deaths, and yet, for some reason, she felt as if it were not real. Denial, she knew, was a phase of the mourning process. It was so surreal, saying goodbye to two people she knew, so suddenly gone.

For once she didn't carry liquor with her, half out of respect for the shrine, half because she was already half-drunk anyways. It was her insomnia that brought her up here, that kept her staring at the two photos of Shinji and Rei. A young man, fatherless for all intents and purposes, and a blue haired apparition, dead to the world before she even actually died. Yet somehow... they had a truce, a sort of awkward comfort and agreement with each other in life.

She vividly remembered how easily the two performed the synchronization exercises together before Asuka gave it a second try, how easily they worked together against the Fifth Angel. She never saw them argue like he saw Asuka and Shinji go at it, claws out and blades going for blood. Well, at least on Asuka's side...Shinji was more like the defenseless puppy, or the whipped boyfriend.

Not around Rei. She heard the reports of how, in a very haunting fashion, so similar to his father, ran out of his EVA Unit 01 to make sure Rei was alright after her EVA 00 took significant fire, which could possibly have melted right through Unit 00. Even according to the teachers at the school, he normally looked at her.

And Rei, who threw herself unflinchingly into battle—knowing it was probably futile against the weaponry of Ramiei, the Fifth Angel. Of course, Rei was a willing soldier, but she so willingly took up the defense. Something told Misato it was for Shinji—she seriously doubted Rei would have acted so unthinkingly had it been Asuka in his stead. She knew too, of how she brought him meals in the NERV Infirmary ward, when medics or nurses would have done the same, and of how she sat watching him awaken from coma after coma.

"It's fitting they died together maybe," Misato murmured, "They were always so in tune..."

From what she heard from the surviving students, the two even sat together on the flight to Okinawa. Shinji didn't sit with the late Suzuhara or Kensuke, who even now mourned his friends. "Poor boy, he lost two friends too..."

She certainly felt the loss of the two pilots deeply. How dare Kaji ridicule her. Wasn't she out searching for their killers? Searching...as a member of NERV and as an enraged friend...a mother that never could have been a mother...but an Agent of NERV. –Now I have two vendettas- she noticed. Yet something was out of place with what Kaji said. He said risk, instead of risked. That implied something.

Things began to come together in Captain Katsuragi's head, like how the preliminary site examination turned up nothing. Before, perhaps due to her own grief, she missed that. Yet now, it was glaring. Just like dog-tags, NERV cards were made to be very resistant, a hard cousin of bakelite. Even in a fire, the only thing that wouldn't survive would be the magnetic strip that computers read. The actual card, burnt yes, and blackened, would remain, along with their internal chemical patterns, provided they were not thoroughly put to fire until there was so much chemical change they no longer had their original chemical composition. They had initially been designed for Section 2 officers who might end up in the line of fire, and so that they could be identified later. The reason dog tags had not been used for section 2 officers was two-pronged: access cards combined with something that would not become iron oxide in the event of explosion, ricochets, extreme heat, or more gruesomely, the passage of time and contact with air.

No such cards turned up in the report. The only people who saw that report were herself and the Commander and Sub-commander. And of course, one other person: Ryoji Kaji.

-is it so important you're willing to risk the lives of those dear to you?-

And when she pressed, he changed the subject. There was a question now in Misato's mind, and she would get an answer.

Ryoji apartment,

Tokyo-3

Kaji awoke to a loud banging at his door. At first, he thought it might be someone finally making a move against him, either SEELE, the Japanese Government, or NERV. But, he surmised as he cleared the cobwebs out of his head and gripped his gun, which lay on the bed stand, they wouldn't have been so polite as knock.

Then it was something else. Still, he kept the gun close. It was about three fifteen in the morning. He had to be sure. He went to the door, and cracked it open before swinging it wide, dodging to the side, and pointing the gun at whoever would be standing there.

Indeed, he found an opposing barrel in his face, but the person holding it was entirely another story. "Katsuragi?"

"Kaji-kun, what are you up to? You know something I want to know." She said quickly, pressing him further back into his apartment, closing the door with her foot.

Kaji chuckled dryly. "That depends on what, Misato." When he wanted to curry favor, he always resorted to calling her by her first name. Apparently this time it wouldn't work.

"You read the reports from Okinawa, and you were there, and you're going back. You're not stupid enough to have –not- noticed the lack of our pilots' NERV ID cards."

Actually, that had been something Kaji had only discovered on his second pass, before looking at the reports. He noticed it when they brought nothing out of the rubble except ashes, and shards of metal. It didn't go into the report as an item, it would have given away Ikari's agenda, so, it wasn't deemed necessary to add in.

Because he wrote the report. Wrote the report, and had it sent right to Ikari's desk.

"You've got me Misato, but do you want to know why?" Kaji sat on the edge of his bed and crossed his legs lazily, flouting the fact that Misato had the upper hand. He long since lowered his gun, knowing whether or not Misato fired was entirely out of his hands, and he of course, would not shoot her. "Why Commander Ikari is hiding it?"

Misato nodded, "And from SEELE."

"Exactly. Because at least one of them is still out there, and he doesn't want them to figure that out quite yet. If SEELE thinks that Ikari has been duped..." he trailed off, letting her put the pieces together.

"Then they'll be all the slower in recovering them and using them against NERV." She concluded. "But why? Why against the commander?"

"You don't expect someone with three EVAs to adhere to what old men have to say?" Kaji offered with a laugh.

"Because even if they had the U.N. budget cut, the EVAs would still run....they need Rei...-and- Shinji!" she finished, stunned that she hadn't realized it before. With Rei and Shinji in their hands, never mind Asuka, they would circumvent Commander Ikari entirely. That means they will be looking already, in earnest, for Rei and Shinji, should they be alive. It prompted her to ask. "Are they, Kaji? Are they alive?"

Kaji grinned, his classic, slightly lopsided, seductive gesture. "I guess I can't fool you, so disobeying Ikari's orders has been rendered an academic question. Yes. For the moment."

"Why is SEELE after them then? Just because the opportunity presented itself? It doesn't make sense." Even if she was now filled with hope, she was forced to question the obvious before buying the entire thing.

He shrugged. "Why not? It ensures that if Ikari messes up, they have exactly what he needs."

That of course, rose more questions. What was so important about Rei and Shinji that SEELE would be willing to get involved directly like this? Was Japan Industries influenced by SEELE? It was a possibility. Yet that also didn't make sense, because there would have been no way for SEELE to guarantee they didn't kill the children. Perhaps it was even a rogue element, yet that was something that was a long shot at the very best—SEELE was too tightly knit and organized to have internal strife. Few people even knew they existed, let alone could move agendas with them. The only reason Katsuragi knew was because she wanted to know exactly who was pulling her strings.

"Listen, Katsuragi, maybe not even all of SEELE knows what's going on. If we could confront Ikari with the evidence, maybe he can keep them off our backs. It's better than trusting them with the children." Kaji suggested and reminded her of how diabolical that secret organization could get. With power came corruption, and certainly, SEELE was –very- powerful. "Are you with me?"

"For the children's sake." She said.

Kaji tilted his head playfully to the side. "Are you sure that's not all? You want to find out why this is happening, right?"

Turning away from Kaji and looking to the doorway she'd entered through, Misato holstered her sidearm and sighed heavily. Shaking her head she walked towards the door. She wouldn't answer that yet—mainly because whatever answer she gave would just be a lie. She did though, throw Kaji a bone. "What do we do?"

"For that," he answered, lying back and closing his eyes, "We take a little trip."

End.

A/N: I know this one was a little longish, and somewhat convoluted towards the end. Writing the first section, with Rei and Shinji, was a little exhausting. Interestingly enough some of it was drawn on personal experience. No, no angels in my life (so you think XD!) but yes, it was hard to get it down right, especially for those two. Now, the bit with Misato, Kaji and SEELE. Should get interesting. Get prepared to visit some things little mentioned in either the manga or the series, and don't hope for anything. That's going to be the thriller arc to balance out the WAFFiness that will eventually develop with Rei and Shinji. But in that regard I'm not going to promise all roses either , Because everyone loves angst! Next episode: Exploring where love takes you, yet more job hunting, Evas, and Katsuragi and Kaji hit the streets of Kyoto. Don't miss next chapter: Trial and Error

Ah, and the 'asterisk endnotes'. For those of you patient enough to bear with my nuances, here are the complete endnotes and explanations to this chapter. These are for the nitpicky, and I felt like putting them in because I was far too bored and up too late. Some of this is just jargon or translation notes. Consider this your Audio Commentary track.

1. The NHK is the Japanese National Network of television, which offers a variety of viewer-funded (levied) channels and programming and helps run several major news journals as well. I figured it would be nice to give them a tip of the hat in 2014, considering they've been in business since WWII!

2. Chairman Kihi is referred to in different terms depending on your translated versions of Evangelion. The ADV Translation translated it to 'Keel' but I've decided from now on to stick to Kihi, mostly because it would have been the way they would have said it in Japanese (if they said it in the series, I can't actually remember).

3. That's a loose translation of a very strong 'that's right', which sounds better as the English phrase, 'DAMN STRAIGHT!'. A bootleg copy of NGE a friend of mine owns actually picked up on that.

4. 'Tadaima', of course, is a ritualized, scripted Japanese way of announcing your return home. You've probably heard it a lot by now, if you watch anime in Japanese or read manga in its original version (or of course, if you're Japanese ,

5. Ai shiteiru, as the translation said, means 'I love you'. However, I think for the most part the expression is sort of lost in translation, mainly because of the addition of a pronoun. I thought it would sound more guttural and emotional if he said something appropriately abbreviated. The expression 'daisuki' fits, but it's sort of un-manly (despite Shinji's lack of backbone and the fact he's voiced by a female voice actress in the Japanese version, I refuse to make him as girly as some would like).

6. This one, Rei saying 'Hai' as an answer, was purely taste. You'll notice that Rei usually says things that are either A) Very committed or B) The pinnacle of being a non-answer. It also sounds a little more like she was actually stunned by Shinji, sort of like when she saw the boys cleaning up her room, and went..."ariga...to," in something of a dumbstruck fashion. I thought long and hard about how she should react to Shinji, and I hope that Rei-fans will like it. A lot of work for a three word line, huh? I felt this needed explaining, and needed to be in Japanese because the equivalent, "Yes/okay/alright" doesn't sound very nice or sincere in that situation. Bottom line was I didn't want her to say she loved him right then and there, but I didn't want it to sound like she was blowing him off either. In light of that, omake!

"aishiteiru, Rei-chan!" Said shinji.

"...Okay..."

Shinji burst into tears, for he had been....shot down.

That's all of it folks, see ya next time. Hope you enjoyed all of this chapter, including the endnotes and my half psychotic attention to useless details.

Kazuhiko Kazuki


	6. Appreciation of Silence

Author's Notes: I know this has taken me longer than I said it would.  
Certain obligations--as well as the adoption of the NGEN project have garnered my attention. But no need to fear, Author is here. Here you go, Chapter six, enjoy. In case you wonder, yes, the first scene was written to Eva-specific music, namely, "A moment when tension breaks".;  
Additional note: Horaki pilots 04, not 03.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own this, Gainax does. Happy?  
  
Never Look Back -  
Chapter Six: Appreciation  
  
-----------------------  
  
Sendai area.  
  
Shinji stood in the kitchenette of the small first floor apartment, preparing ingredients for their evening meal. It was going to be something of an extravagance, considering Shinji called for many ingredients indeed. The occasion had been both their newfound affections for each other... and not a day later Shinji came across work as an office assistant in town, for a man named Kazuhiko who worked for Bakufu Publishing Co, a no name man who wrote textbooks. Even though it wasn't glamorous, it was stable work and the company would pay him fairly for it. When he announced this to Rei, she'd been quite pleased, and demonstrated it with a satisfied smile.  
  
"You are now able to put the past behind you. This is now truly, moving on..." She commented distractedly, looking off into the evening sky, as they waited for the meal to finish cooking. It was stir fried vegetables, and for him, takoyaki. The smell of the food was appealing and served to lift her mood further.  
  
"Well, maybe it...it isn't all that, but something like it, right?" he supplied rhetorically. The food was almost ready. He now felt a bit more comfortable in his new surroundings, though Rei provided little conversation. Their existence at home was filled primarily with quiet moments of contentment, even if it was at opposite sides of the room.  
  
To be honest, Shinji felt a little embarrassed about his declaration of love for Rei. Such was to be expected, its suddenness and ferocity taking him by complete surprise. He didn't even try to guess how Rei felt about it. Thus the conversation the day before had not been mentioned, or referred to. However, it functioned to bring them closer together, into a more cohesive, attached partnership.  
  
This moment was the most fragile, in human relations. How did one know when he or she would be able to interact in a certain fashion towards another individual? It was a difficult question to provide an answer for. Shinji found himself grasping at straws as to what came next.  
  
Rei, on the other hand, did not know what direction to even grasp in, and thus, relied on Shinji for affirmation on her course of action. This amplified the clumsiness of their conversations and dealings, but it was of the adoring, shy and hesitant kind. None of it was unbearable. Rei was acutely aware of her primary deficiency: human relations. This, however, did not daunt her. She was steadfast, for this was perhaps the single most important endeavor in her life yet.  
  
With the subtle hints of vegetables wafting through the air, and a warm breeze entering through an open window, the room became a welcoming nest for the two transients. Shinji, with a dumb, self-satisfied smile on his face, and Rei, looking on with amused intensity, perfected the emotional mosaic of this moment in time, isolated, consequences left away from mind--never did the expression" out of sight, out of mind," fit better. All was for once, as good as he could have imagined it, and for her, better than she ever knew was possible.  
  
As Shinji brought forth the tray of food, Rei tilted her head sideways, and inquired earnestly to Shinji while he sank to a sitting position, "Is this.  
what one could call, 'happiness', Shinji?"  
  
Taken slightly by surprise, he couldn't help but smile faintly at that.  
Sometimes--no, oftentimes--Rei was quite childlike. Her childlike sense of wonder at the world she was coming to appreciate filled him with adoration. he supposed it was a typical reaction for a male to think it cute, but to him, her serene, and innocent question was amusing, even if he didn't know how to answer correctly.  
  
"Well, I don't know, Rei-chan," he began after a thoughtful pause. "I guess if it means you're satisfied with how things are, and you want them to be that way. It's like...there's the soft energy inside you that tells you it is the way something should be."  
  
His success in the vagueness category was surpassed only by his verbose clumsiness. Rei blinked. "I do not quite understand you, though I surmise I can compare it to something."  
  
Shinji reddened with embarrassment at his own incompetence, smiling sheepishly. "If you say so, Rei-chan...Ittadakimasu."  
  
And so they ate, their lives feeling that much more whole within themselves as they fumbled for that fragile, unspoken bond nascent between them, a warm mist, enfolding them in security.  
-  
Bishaemon no Ten no Jinja Shrine,  
Kyoto.  
  
A shot rang out in the dark of the Kyoto night, nicking the ancient doorframe of an abandoned Shinto jinja. Woodchips soared into the air from the high-powered 50 cal round, splintering the spruce into fragments. Annoyed, one Kaji Ryoji fell backwards behind the cover of a large wall, urging himself along the corner, holding the grip of his modified Glock-17 with careful pressure.  
  
"Well, Katsuragi, looks like the were on to us." he muttered, signaling that she should get ready to make good her escape. Easing around the corner he pulled back on the trigger of the full automatic and released a spray of rounds that bounced on the gravel and dug into body armor and old wood alike, unchecked. Just as promptly, however, the defender hid again, nanoseconds before a hail of answering ordinance, and the following thunder cracks. This time a particularly large fragment was blown away.  
  
"A .223. Well, our guests certainly aren't being shy..." Kaji mused. They began to move towards the small fence not ten feet away, rushing to it and diving right over, Misato with a suitcase and her USP 9 millimeter semi-  
  
Automatic pistol in hand. They absconded into the foliage in hurried movements, the unidentified attackers not the least bit willing to leave their tails.  
  
Thankfully the car was not far away, hidden by shrubs. It was a rental, and hopefully, it wouldn't get damaged. At this point though, their lives were more important than Hertz's damages or fees. They piled into the car and hit the gas to the floor. The sporty two-seat roadster took off with gusto along a dirt path that by happenstance, was obviously little-used and in ill-  
repaired, making for a bumpy ride.  
  
The gunfight lasted for a good fifteen minutes before they were able to get that far, where the car was stashed. It was originally a trip to pick up information on SEELE's intents as well as any possible divisiveness within the clandestine organization. Their informant was apparently, being sold out as men with semi-automatic machine pistols began blowing away at arcane shrine, left to its devices after Second Impact. The informant wasn't as lucky as Misato or Kaji, and didn't make it out of there. Instead, she died tossing them the suitcase of documents they'd been there to pick up.  
  
---------  
  
Needless to say, they'd been compromised.  
  
They got no chase once they drove into Kyoto proper. Yet instead of returning to their hotel, they got a room at another place in town, just to make sure.  
  
"So much for secrecy," Misato griped over a Yebisu in the hotel room, as they now poured over the documents in earnest. According to these, arrangements had been made not only to set up the Marduk Agency, as affiliated by its hundred or so dummy partnerships, including one Shannon Bio Inc, whose board of trustees included none other than Ikari Gendo, Lorenz Kihi, and Fuyutsuki Kozo. "We really blew it."  
  
Kaji disagreed. "Considering the results of our findings. We now know that the school classroom, code seven-zero-seven, has all of the potential candidates for pilots of Evangelion units. This of course means..."  
  
"We're all being led by the nose. But...for what? Is it the Council on Instrumentality?" she asked in reply, putting a palm flat on a set of papers.  
  
"I don't know yet, if the class has to do with anything. But, if the pilots are all available, why of course, go after Rei and Shinji?" he proposed the question while calmly lighting a cigarette and propping it into his mouth. The smoke from the lit tobacco product wafted from before his face, entered his lungs, and was purged as he gave a deep sigh. "The truth is so hard to get to...but...we both have obligations to it, ne, Katsuragi?"  
  
Silently eyes askance, Misato recalled the escape capsule quite vividly, and imagined the scar on her chest very accurately. Yes, they did. It would always burn within her, the need for truth.  
  
NERV, Central Dogma  
  
"A sick day?!" Ritsuko sputtered, incredulous. She'd just put down the results and MAGI analysis for the latest synch-ratio test scores for pilots Soryu and Horaki, when she was confronted with the news of Misato's absence. "That...is a flimsy excuse for the Director of Operations and Planning."  
  
Maya felt the urge to apologize, and did so. "I'm sorry, sempai, but that's what she said."  
  
Sipping from a mug of coffee, a standard NERV issue white ceramic thing,  
she closed her eyes in thought. They weren't even trying to hide it from the commander that they were second-guessing him. Was there a point to it? And most of all, why did the commander allow this?  
  
Dissatisfied, Ritsuko decided to lodge a formal complaint as project director of research and development at Project E. She picked up her phone, asked the switchboard operator to get her the commander, and waited. After a ring, the phone was picked up.  
  
"Yes. What is it?"  
  
Ritsuko paused. "Sir, it's Akagi. I am filing an official complaint regarding Katsuragi---"  
  
"It can wait," and following that smooth baritone was a sharp click, and then the chilling dial tone of defeat.  
  
Akagi Ritsuko was left wallowing in her own disgust. Surely he couldn't be serious! Holding her coffee mug in a death-grip, she fumed. "How could he...Damn him!"  
  
Office of the Supreme Commander NERV Central Dogma  
  
"Have our agents successfully cleared the Kyoto site of opposing entities?"  
asked Gendo quietly, his unwavering stare fixed on the sub-commander.  
  
There had been some confusion initially, when he heard of Katsuragi's disappearance, but once he heard the double-agent was involved, he supposed to himself that he could allow it. It served a dual purpose--it deflected attention away from machinations here, and also harried SEELE. He could feel the feud growing stronger. No longer did they just trade barbs, but now bullets.  
  
The coalitions that composed the fundaments of both the Committee on Human Instrumentality and SEELE, as well as NERV were never entirely stable. Certain interests governed each, and as with any conflicting interest, actual conflicts arose. For example, the Dummy Plug system was initially kept secret from the Old Men for specific purposes of allowing NERV-  
then GEHRIM to conduct research on making a disposable interface for their new Evangelion unit. However, now well-known obstacles revealed themselves and the effort at secrecy was rendered futile. Now even more fundamental differences divided them. At best, SEELE trusted Ikari's common sense, while Ikari counted on SEELE's sense of foresight.  
  
"Yes sir, though we were unable to capture any of them alive. Trace amounts of cyanide were found in their dental cavities." Fuyutsuki reported. The entire fiasco at Kyoto was a bit appalling. He'd expected some sort of showdown with SEELE for some time now, but not like this.  
  
"Suicide? Hmm. Now, sensei, we see how the Old Men react."  
  
---  
  
In the darkness, a monolith spoke.  
  
"We cannot let them go unchecked. Let our ire be known, and let them repent. Then they will come back, and cease to bite the hand which feeds."  
  
"For the completion of humanity!" chimed the other eleven members of the organization only known as SEELE, dropping their guise as the Committee on this matter.  
  
Lorenz Kihi, still incensed, sat behind his 'SOUND ONLY' monolith and smiled derisively. Yes, Ikari-kun would soon understand the relationship between master and apprentice.  
  
NERV Central Dogma Control Deck  
  
"Alright. Procedure point 2550 reached. Over." Dr. Akagi Ritsuko announced, as she watched the camera feed from the EVA cages. Units 02 and 04 were now active, and exerting AT fields. The red and white units respectively were now ready for the test launch. As per routine, most parts of NERV's operational equipment needed to be tested not only for safety but operational status. The most vital of these were the launch systems, and namely, the most complex, the launch elevator.  
  
"Moving to tracks one and two, ma'am." Horaki Hikari informed from within her entry plug, as Unit 04 lurched forward gracelessly, then, with better footing, easily made its way alongside Asuka's Unit 02 to track two.  
  
"Unit 02 reporting, Dr. Akagi! I'm ready, so launch this thing so we can all go home." Asuka sighed, wishing she were doing something besides running a systems test. Unfortunately, because of some dumbkpoff the only way to test the launch tracks was by actually launching into one of the hollow ammunition-or-mech towers cleverly disguised as an armored office building. It wasn't the most…nondescript place, but measures did indeed have to be taken.  
  
"Operator...this is Akagi. Launch, tracks one and two...now!" Ritsuko ordered. This job would normally fall under Misato, but the woman still wasn't back.  
  
With a sharp click of releasing clamps and a whirr of motors switching mag-lev lines, the two massive Evangelions were bodily lifted off their moorings and propelled by the mag-lev platforms all the way up the route towards the surface. This caused both pilots to experience three or four g's of acceleration, quite the sensation if one wasn't used to it.  
  
Seconds later they hit the surface with a resounding thud. Hikari checked her visuals, and saw she was inside the building. "Horaki here. Inside the launcher, system check successful for track two. Prepped for descent."  
  
Below, in the Geofront, Ritsuko was about to give the order to lower the Evangelion units when everything suddenly went dark. For a moment, she waited for the redundant power systems to kick in...And then, to her disbelief, was left still standing in relative shadow. "What in the world?"  
  
Looking around, she couldn't hesitate. "Power failure? Check the second and third emergency generators!"  
  
Aoba was quick to reply, and shouted, "No use, we've got nothing working except roughly three percent of our circuits!"  
  
"Phones are dead, ma'am!" Hyuga called out, slamming his receiver down in frustration.  
  
"Reroute all functioning circuit energy to life support systems!" Ritsuko commanded, but was overridden when the Commander interjected.  
  
"Belay that, Dr. Akagi. Concern yourself with protecting the MAGI." he said coolly from his vantage point on the top tier of the NERV Central Dogma command bridge. Behind him, Fuyutsuki stood stoically, lighting a candle.  
  
"Hai!" Ritsuko relayed the order to her subordinates. "And someone,  
recover those Eva units!"  
  
Above Ground  
  
"Damn this. I knew this test was going to take long!" Asuka complained,  
and not without reason. They'd been in the entry plug an hour before they launched for the surface, now this. And their power, for some reason, was cut. "Meine Gott in Himmel, what's taking them so long?"  
  
Hikari, inherently more patient, was taking the middle path. Yes, she was annoyed, but she couldn't do much. "Is this a recurring event, Asuka?"  
  
"No..." Asuka admitted. In point of fact, the technicians ran a very tight ship in NERV and she was more than obliged to give credit where it was due this time. However, that modicum of peaceful praise didn't last long, as they began to feel tremors in the ground. They were small at first, nothing but a mere vibration, easily associable with the platform. However, it grew intensity until it was a rhythmic shaking, and then, a solid quake every so often.  
  
"What the?" Asuka muttered, her power nearing the one-minute line.  
Dislodging herself from the launch building restraints, she stepped out, peering around the building to see a long, multi-legged creature approaching the outskirts of the city with methodical determination. Just as quickly, she ducked behind the building. "Damn! An angel, now?"  
  
"An Angel, Asuka? You saw one?" Hikari asked, from a few hundred meters south. "There wasn't an alert..."  
  
"Well obviously something is wrong downstairs. We have to stop it, Hikari.  
I can't raise NERV on my communications link. We should assume no orders." Asuka concluded, jaded. "It's already in the city. I'm nearing my activation limit, in twenty seconds. You're the only one that can actually do this...Good luck, okay? Don't get yourself killed."  
  
Hikari noted the slight shame in which Asuka was speaking from. Asuka would have to let her friend, the newbie, take out the Angel on her own-  
-at great risk, but without Asuka doing it--because of her S2 engine.  
  
"Understood Asuka. Stay here in the building so you can get recovered."  
Pushing back her dark brown locks, the freckled class representative gritted her teeth and took stock of her situation. There were several hundred meters between her and the Angel. NERV was directly below, and all she was armed with was a prog'knife. Better that than nothing.  
  
Jumping from behind the cover of the building, Hikari gave the landscape a quick survey. The Angel, arachnid in shape, was closing in on the heart of Tokyo-3. This was unacceptable. Its long legs easily gave it mobility, but it lurched in such a way that it was cumbersome to attack. So it would indeed be melee.  
  
"Unit 04, attacking!" She yelled as she began to run with the white-plated Evangelion unit. Her fleet footsteps rocked the city and made large dents in the pavement of the street she plowed through. The Angel it seemed, was single-mindedly approaching its target. However, it took notice soon after.  
  
A leg raised itself and pointed in the direction of Unit-04 just as Hikari withdrew the prog'knife and activated it, nearly in range. Subsequently she received a kick to the chest, and was pinned to the ground. The Angel began to rove over her, pressing its advantage. Soon Hikari could see it's tearing, orange and blue eye.  
  
Even as she suppressed a cry of agony, hot, acidic viscous liquid poured over her unit, sending sensations of pain across her arms and torso. She whimpered. But, she had to endure. Even as smoke arose from the scalding liquid, she grit her teeth, readying herself.  
  
The same leg rose itself quickly and pounded down hard on the center of 04, causing another cry. This continued until, at last, seizing her opportunity, Hikari rolled quickly as the leg came down, avoiding it. Then, with a spur of pain-filled energy and willpower, she bull rushed the Angel from underneath, and activated the defense spikes.  
  
The large fifteen-to-twenty foot titanium alloyed spikes tore through the Angel--whose AT field was neutralized--and stunned it. Even as the damage was dealt, it felt itself losing balance, and being toppled onto its 'back'. Not soon after a sensation of pain would be felt inside it, probably, as Horaki's prog'knife dove into the central eye portion, pushing deeper and deeper towards the core.  
  
After a minute of frantic leg-thrashing and Hikari's agonized calls, the prog'knife finally ate away at the last layer and sawed into the S2 core of the Angel, effectively silencing it.  
  
Slumping her unit, Hikari exhaled heavily, breathing with some difficulty,  
the pain still in her body. She was in disbelief that she just took out that Angel. Her synch-rate must have gone through the roof--she didn't even recall having to think about moving Eva.  
  
"Is it...over?" she gasped, stunned.  
  
NERV Office of the Supreme Commander 9:02 PM Tokyo Standard  
  
Hours later, once power had been again restored to NERV and Tokyo-3,  
  
Sub-commander Fuyutsuki and his superior, Commander Ikari Gendo, sat in the latter's office, reviewing the mission report from pilots Soryu and Horaki.  
  
"You think it was SEELE, Ikari?" Kozo inquired casually, referring to his crossword after putting away the mission debriefings.  
  
Gendo kept a neutral face. "Plainly it was they, for only they could have pulled off cutting power. It appears they're angry."  
  
"Is it wise to keep them like that, Ikari-kun?" the elder asked, concerned.  
Things were getting far too out of hand. First the shootout, now this-  
actually aiding an angel attack in order to gain intelligence! How they dared!  
  
"Don't worry, professor," Ikari smiled cynically, pushing up his glasses as he leaned back into his soft, comfortable chair. "Soon their advantages will be torn out from under them, and they will be unable to deny their folly."  
  
End of Chapter 6  
  
AN: Not as long as I originally intended, but this is something to keep things going. I hope you enjoy it. As you see I made some changes. By the way, to those who were wondering, 'bakufu' refers to a 'tent government' or 'military dictatorship'. And no, you won't see 'Kazuhiko' again. And yes it was my mistake earlier ---unit 04, not 03. I'll correct it when I get the chance. Thanks for reading.  
No prereader was used here.  
-Kazuhiko Kazuki 


	7. Stab in the Dark

Disclaimer: All characters, situations, and concepts herein are the express property of GAINAX Co, Sadamoto Yoshiyuki/Anno Hideki and all trademarks etc are the properties of their respective owners and copyright holders. This piece is not made for profit or exploitation purposes, and any use for such ends is strictly prohibited by the author, the creators, as well as federal and international copyright law. Neon Genesis Evangelion (_Shinseiki Evangelion)_ © 1996-2005 GAINAX / Licensed by ADV Films 

**Author's Note: ** I'm sorry that updating this fanfiction took as long as it did. Many things got in the way (including scriptwriting for an animation show as well as my new _Mobile Suit Gundam SEED _fanfiction, and final preparations on a book, among many things). Thanks for your patience.

Shinseiki Evangelion: Never Look Back 

_Chapter 7 – Stab in the Dark  
_

"_Weakness should never be encouraged or nurtured._

_Only in this way do we become strong."_

Commander Ikari Gendo of NERV

'_A Primer for Humanity'_

_Proposal submitted to the United Nations, _

_12 Before Impact (2002 A.D)_

**Sendai**

Ayanami Rei stared blankly at the scenery outside the public transportation train in the downtown area of the city. It was bright outside, and though the train itself was cool, she knew it to be a sweltering day in the middle of July. Even though nearly fifteen years had gone by, Japan was still an abnormally warm nation compared to its pre-millennial past. That was beyond her fuzzy memories though, before she was even born, so she couldn't rightfully attest to it.

_Lacking firsthand experience does not negate knowledge, _she thought sedately as shadows blinked across her field of view, the train barreling past a long series of telephone poles. The car shook lightly as it careened down the rails, an air of hushed conversation permeating the compartment. People were on their way to work, on their way to school, going about their daily duties. In much the same fashion, Rei was no different.

_Asano Kaede, _she reminded herself pointedly. Rei knew it to be an exercise in futility, reaffirming to herself the assumed name she'd taken when she fled with Shinji from Okinawa, but it served to cement her frame of thought in the here and now, instead of dwelling on the intangibles of their mutual past. _Ayanami Rei_ was the name of something sinister, something made by humans for human uses. She could not escape that.

Asano Kaede was infinitely more comforting, even if it was a lie.

It was already two weeks since Shinji began working at the publishing concern downtown, Bakufu Publishing Co.'s _Shōgun_ imprint. He was doing well for work he was unaccustomed to. Now it was her turn to pull her own weigh. It bored her infinitely—more so than even dreary schooldays back in Tokyo-3—to sit around the house doing nothing at all. Though she _knew_ how to clean and keep a tidy house, despite her displayed failures, she didn't see herself as a _shufu_, no matter who Asano Kaede was supposed to be or who she was married to. As such, she readily found work as an office lady for a trading company based near the seaboard.

It was necessary, as the last of their money went to procuring false documentation from illicit sources and a heavy bribe to an office worker at the prefectural capital's city records office, legitimizing their marriage. With nothing but pocket change, Rei waited for her arrival at the right station, dressed in a dark blue and white uniform worn by the female employees in her company. Her hair was now dyed jet black, and her irises, formerly a vibrant shade of vermilion, thanks to cosmetic contact lenses, were a neutral, dark brown.

Getting to her workplace was no trouble at all, and she was in before nine in the morning, starting the workday with the usual routines and rituals common to any corporate concern. The highly structured, gender-specific framework of corporate Japan hadn't changed much in thirty-five years, the business model viewed from a perspective of overall efficiency instead of equality or even merit-based rewards. If Rei decided to stay in the company, provided she didn't fail to meet expectations, she would go along a pre-programmed career route that wouldn't lead above the glass ceiling of the trading firm, where only powerful men with two children and a serene _shufu_ at home could go.

Frankly, she could have cared less.

Asano Kaede was respected amongst her peers for her steadfast, diligent work, if not her abject disinterest in what she did. Sometimes Rei wondered privately if _anyone_ in her office was truly interested in what they did, and if her neutral ambivalence was commonplace. When it came time for the lunch break, she made and brought forth tea for her fellow officemates, and sat in relative silence at a table in their midst. No one questioned her identity, or even suspected that she wasn't who she said she was, though a growing appreciation of irony was dawning on her.

Kudo, their section chief, a stout man with graying hair and a monochrome outfit, was finishing his lunch when he began talking to his coworkers. "So, did any of you hear about that fugitive announcement on the news last night?"

"The Okinawa bombing suspects?" Maya—who despite her name, reminded Rei in no way of Lt. Ibuki—a fellow 'OL' asked. "Did you _see_ those two? I wonder if that girl's hair is naturally blue like that. That's crazy, Kudo-sachō."

"No kidding." Kudo said. He drank some of the tea. "Awfully young to be terrorists. Oh well, just goes to show you, this post-impact world is a little crazy. I remember growing up in a less shaken-up country than…" he gestured out towards a large window, "…this."

"Well," another man said, a junior member of the team, though more experienced than Rei by far, "the reward for their whereabouts was pretty high. I haven't heard about anything like that since my parents told me about the Old Tokyo subway attacks."

Sighing, Maya stared out the window, finishing her bottled water. "Ah…I wish I knew where they were! I'd never have to worry about my future again."

The section chief made a joke about her future that Rei did not understand, and they broke up to finish the workday. It was wholly uneventful, but the work kept Rei busy, and for that she was thankful. When it was around seven in the evening, she was on a train back to the apartment she shared with Shinji, who should have been on his way home from work as well, if not home already.

_Shinji-kun. _Rei contemplated their situation. Since her explanation of her origins and his declaration of love for her, they hadn't so much as spoken again of the entire affair. Though they were warmer towards each other than before, by a small margin, things went generally unchanged. A certain amount of awkwardness remained, which they were unable to exchange. It seemed Shinji was wholly afraid of how _vehement_ he'd been, and Rei couldn't fathom how she, as the female party in the relationship, should react. The bottom line was, she supposed, she didn't _not_ like Shinji, so she was willing enough to accept his affection.

Truth be told, she didn't have another option, if she wished to cling to humanity. She knew it may lead to a potential weakness, but she also saw many advantages to a romantic relationship with Shinji aside from his companionship _per se. _ They were playing the part of a young, married couple, such affection could only add to the credibility of their claims.

"_Tadaima." _Rei said in a monotone when she arrived home, finding that Shinji was indeed, already back. The aroma of food in various stages of preparation tickled her senses, the smell of dry soba and udon, as well as the tangy scent of curry in the air.

"_Okaeri, _Rei-chan!" Shinji called from the kitchenette, glad to see her again. He smiled kindly and with enthusiasm, apparently still energetic even after a full day's work. She studied his jovial—even _optimistic—_expression, noting how starkly different it was from the Shinji she'd met in Tokyo-3.

Shinji too, had taken on a farcical appearance. His hair, grown out slightly, was in a permed, wavy hairdo dyed a dark brown, a look that seemed to be very popular amongst teens and college students, reminiscent of the 'rockers' of the late 1990s. His blue eyes were obfuscated and transmuted into nondescript black pools. Nothing could be done about his youthful appearance—if it weren't for the false documentation he carried, virtually no one would believe his claims to be a married man, save of course, the wily Etsuko.

"How was your work, Shinji?" Rei asked calmly, standing across the counter from Shinji as he finished preparing the soba. "You seem happy tonight."

Shinji continued to beam. "My office isn't bad, and the boss treats me well enough. They don't expect very much of me, so I guess I'm not having problems doing well. Though…" A shadow crossed his face briefly, and he averted his eyes. "It's still hard. I wonder how everyone is doing."

That was perhaps the greatest weakness of all, Rei reflected. Shinji, despite his uncharacteristic bravery and embryonic development of backbone back at Okinawa, still felt partially guilty over 'abandoning' Katsuragi and Sōryu. His sense of duty was stronger than his sense of self-preservation at times, probably the only thing that made him pilot Eva before deciding it may have been the only way to satisfy his father.

"They will persevere without us. They are talented individuals, Shinji-kun." She assured him. Glancing at the meager serving dishes, she decided to change the subject entirely, and with astonishment, noted that she was famished. "Is the food ready?"

Shinji nodded. "Almost."

_This will have to do for now. _Later, while they ate, Rei considered bleakly the prospect that she would have to be the mature one for the time being, something was entirely used to but not entirely _comfortable _with.

It was tiring.

_Kagoshima-shi_

_**(Earlier that same day)**_

"Thank you very much." Katsuragi Misato said to a woman behind a JAL ticketing counter, smiling with false enthusiasm but genuinely grateful that someone was able to give her and Kaji a lead on where the children had passed through. She was all but certain now that they had traveled back to Honshu, though she was also pretty sure that Kaji already knew that, or had suspected as much from the very beginning.

_He's an infuriating person, as far as men go, _she thought, chiding herself for ever getting involved with him nearly ten years before, during college.

Their search was hindered—and helped, in a sense—by the decision the Commander made over the issue of the children, using his authority granted by the U.N. to have an APB put out on the two youngsters. As of yet, only small trickles of information were coming back, nothing conclusive or damming. Wherever they'd gone, Rei and Shinji did a marvelous job of disappearing and melding into society undetected. That, she suspected, was Rei's doing. While not the most socially savvy, she definitely knew how to think rationally. Her intellectual faculties put her a step ahead of the multiple investigations aimed at tracking her down.

"So, Katsuragi?" Kaji asked when she met up with him near a small coffee shop inside the airport terminal in Kagoshima city. He sat with a tall cup of steaming-hot latte, smiling with unflappable charm. "Any leads?"

"Maybe if you didn't sit around looking at passing women," Misato rebuffed, pointedly giving an askance glance at a young woman in high heels sitting at an adjacent table, "we'd have some more information to go on."

Though Misato was making her annoyance clear, Ryōji Kaji only sighed and shrugged sheepishly, as if he couldn't help it at all. Since their gunfight at the shrine in Kyoto, mixing it up with forces from SEELE—if indeed they were to blame—she and Kaji were still forced to work closely together to draw up a map of what exactly was going on.

So far they had a few solid conclusions: the children were almost _definitely_ alive, or at the very least, Rei was. Additionally, from Kaji overheard and other things he was privy to, they determined that both of the children were in fact, expendable. He wasn't willing to reveal to her _why_ exactly though. The notion of expendability seemed entirely at odds with the gross amount of effort NERV's commander was willing to put into retrieving them.

"You should ask Rit-chan about that." Kaji had said dismissively but with an air of the ominous. "It isn't my secret to give out."

Sitting down at the table, Misato sighed with exasperation and restlessness. Without permission, she grabbed Kaji's latte and drained it, thankful he wasn't in the habit of drinking decaf. The coffee would work to stimulate her jangled nerves and ease her state of mind, though it paled in comparison with her inanimate lover, the old Yebisu. Kaji seemed to fight a scowl.

"Looks like they went to Osaka-2." Misato appraised him of what the clerk at the JAL terminal had to say about the customers she saw only a few weeks ago, remembered vividly because of Rei's outrageous hair color and fiery eyes. They of course, paid in cash, untraceable. It was depressing news though; from Osaka, the pair could have gone virtually anywhere; getting on a train, another flight, a ferry across the Seto Inland Sea; it was all equally possible. They could even have gotten out of the country on a trading ship or freighter. The dragnet that NERV and the U.N. put in place after Ikari's decision to make the APB was probably all but late. The best they could hope for was to eventually ferret them out, hoping they remained inside Japan, though if they were smart they would have left by now. She wasn't willing to believe they'd resorted to the reverse-psychology stratagem of staying in NERV's 'back yard' in order to avoid detection; such thinking was defeatist, paranoid, and only let to scheme and counter-schemes in one's own head.

Kaji mused over her conclusion. "That's inconvenient, but I guess not really unexpected. They're smart kids, even if Shinji's a little unconfident and unreliable."

Misato nodded absently. She received a report recently that Matariel, the latest in the series of Angels, made its attack. Very nearly Tokyo-3 and NERV was demolished because of an insidious and successful attempt to disrupt NERV's redundant power grid. Word from the top had it that SEELE was involved somehow. There was no question that it was sabotage. With two redundant backup generators, for a total of three power sources, and the MAGI's supervision, a failure of that magnitude was literally and scientifically impossible, or as close to impossible odds as Ritsuko could claim. That only confirmed what Kaji was preaching about the organization, that it was actively playing NERV against the procession of monsters that attacked Tokyo-3 for no apparent reason. It was frustrating, but at this juncture, unavoidable. Fortunately, Pilot Horaki managed to repulse the Angel before harm came to the Geofront base itself.

That was probably their only lucky break thus far. Misato wasn't counting on any others, wishful thinking aside.

"It's obvious then," Kaji said without warning sometime later, with a new cup of coffee in hand. "We go to Osaka-2."

_Tokyo-3__NERV Central Dogma_

Sōryu Asuka Langley sat in muted indignation within the confines of EVA-02's entry plug. She breathed in the repulsive, transparent LCL fluid, tasting the mercuric tang so reminiscent of blood with palpable disgust, but for the moment keeping it to herself. She wasn't ready or willing to admit that she secretly appreciated it, that the taste of the horrendous artificial concoction was something of a badge of honor, a sign of her status that _she_ was an Eva pilot, EVA-02's designated pilot, not someone else.

The trappings of station can come in many forms.

"You're done, Asuka, Hikari." Ibuki-chūi said to them over the open communicator-holograph link in the projection screens of their respective entry plugs. Her mousy, dark brown hair was burdened by her comm headset, but otherwise she looked impeccable, as always. It struck Asuka that she was trying to impress someone. "You can come back now."

"Alright." Asuka grunted and prepared to exit her giant, red humanoid robot frame. With a sigh, she added quietly, "It's so like Misato to leave us with so much work. First Shinji, then _her._"

Since the dissemination of information regarding Rei and Shinji's fugitive status—a fiasco for the Public Relations division after announcing that the two were among the _casualties_ of the attack—Asuka and Hikari were informed that it was likely that their fellow students were alive somewhere, for unknown reasons. The way everyone talked about it, it even sounded like they were the ones that caused the attack in the first place, though few people who knew them willingly believed that. It was just too foreign a concept; neither Shinji nor Rei, despite their many faults and flaws, were capable of such utter violence and wanton destruction. Many of their friends lay dead because of the terrorist attack, friends that Shinji himself cared about. It was too convenient—and incongruous—to pin the blame on them. Nonetheless, it happened, and now the law was hunting them down.

Asuka suppressed a sigh of disgust while removing her slick, red plug suit and tossing it in a burnable garbage chute. Standing naked for a moment, staring at her reflection in her locker-housed mirror, she wondered what the two kids were up to. Were they even safe? Probably not.

"Hikari, I'm going to go ahead and shower down." She announced, walking unceremoniously towards the large and empty row of shower stalls. "Wait for me, alright?"

"Sure, Asuka." Horaki Hikari said from her place not far away, disposing of her own, black, gray, and navy plugsuit. She was used to the feel of the garment now, but didn't like how it made her feel exposed, showing off entirely too much of her figure by way of its skin-tight fit. There was nothing to be done about that.

Hikari found it easy to note the subtle changes in Asuka's behavior since the disaster at Okinawa—one that left both girls shocked and confused, though Hikari more so—with her growing sense of calm and self-restraint. It wasn't _much_, but she desisted from calling everyone a name for the most minor infraction. Of course, she still insulted Aida-kun, but it was more out of habit than ire. Not seeing two of the 'Three Stooges' made her heart ache in a mysterious way that baffled even Hikari. Now the mockery was almost, but not quite good-natured.

After the attack, Hikari visited Suzuhara's sister in the hospital. The girl was making a slow but steady recovery since her injuries in the months before, during what Hikari now knew as the attack of the third Angel. Painfully, for herself as well as for the younger Suzuhara, Hikari informed the girl that her brother passed away.

Surprisingly, she didn't cry. Instead, she'd said with remarkable maturity for her age. "At least now he won't worry so much about me."

The statement left Hikari absolutely heartbroken, and afterwards, she wept for hours and hours, until she thought that there no longer existed enough tears to enumerate her total despair. So many people were suffering so pointlessly, for no reason; it perturbed the normally steadfast and upright Class Rep deeply.

_And there I was, _Hikari thought lamely, _that I was one suffering because my sister and I lost Mom. _Stepping under a showerhead, Hikari allowed herself to enjoy the hot water that poured over her freckled, thin body. In the scant month since the death of Suzuhara Tōji and so many others, she'd grown nearly an inch, but lost some weight. Looking a little more gaunt than usual, she nonetheless still got lecherous glances from the boys, but it was now almost a pale reminder of times before. Everyone knew how hard Horaki-inchō took the disaster, something she saw with her own eyes. Virtually all her classmates were gone; on she, Asuka, Kensuke, and a few others were left. They had to consolidate classes from her grade to make a full class. Just looking at the different faces, not seeing people she'd grown up with, was almost unbearable.

Then of course, there was the entire matter of the Angels. What the hell were they, anyways? Like many others, Hikari had her ideas on the issue, but none of it really seemed to add up. Second Impact. Angels, Humanoid Fighter Evangelion, even NERV. The one thing she was glad for though—bittersweet really—was the pay she was given as an Eva pilot, seemingly the only consolation that Commander Ikari was willing to offer them.

That reminded her, as she turned off the shower and dried off, Ikari-kun's complaints about his father, back when. She honestly never thought he was _that_ cold, that cruel and uncaring. She was disturbed to discover that Shinji hadn't exaggerated at all, the way she'd expected. The reality of Ikari Gendo's persona was chilling.

"Done." Asuka said later, emerging from the shower stall wrapped in a towel. The two girls finished dressing back into school uniforms, still faintly smelling of LCL, headed up the elevator to the control deck of Central Dogma. "Want to grab some take out, Hikari?"

Hikari noted the fake cheer and attempt at marginal good humor and accepted it at face value. She could get order-out and some extras for her sisters and father. They wouldn't complain, no, not after what she'd been through. Nozomi was even learning to cook, so if they hated take-out that much, they had options.

Upstairs at the Command and Control center of NERV headquarters, they were met by the blonde doctor, Akagi Ritsuko. She looked self-satisfied with the results of the test, smugly holding a NERV mug filled with coffee. From behind her round glasses she said, "Your sync scores are up, Asuka. So are yours, Hikari, but not by as much."

"See? I told you I'm better." Asuka smiled half-heartedly, unsure if she should even keep up the pretense. For some reason, she felt _empty…_almost betrayed by something. Anyways, her thoughts were elsewhere. Maybe if Baka-Shinji hadn't gone off and gotten himself killed and/or mixed up in whatever it was that was going on away from Tokyo-3, she might have felt better. Even seeing 'Miss Honor Student' again would have cheered her up somewhat—if only to give her an object to direct her frustrations. Currently, she was powerless.

It reminded her of film-grain, and watching an old movie with bad color and preservation; everyone looked much more _drab_ now.

Asuka had the right mind to wonder where Misato was about now. She knew that she was off with Kaji somewhere, and the thought made her mildly jealous. However, for the time being, there were more immediate concerns, and she was forced to put the feeling out of sight and out of mind. She counseled herself that it would be a trade-off: acquiescence for a bit of satisfaction at a job well done.

"I know, Asuka." Hikari said, "You're better, but I'll catch up, you'll see." It was only banter really, but Hikari also felt the need to say _something_ at least. This way, she figured, at least she could help Asuka somehow, if not helping herself. "Let's go get some food then."

…

With a steady gaze, Akagi Ritsuko watched the two young women leave Central Dogma to find their dinner hundreds of meters above their heads, in the city proper. Momentarily, she envied Horaki for being able to cook so well, and was none-too-kindly amused that she would have to eat take out, a staple of Ritsuko's diet for altogether too many years, at least since her mother committed suicide at the original GEHRIM installation. God knows she could have afforded better with the salary of Director of Project E, but try as she might. Ritsuko couldn't find the _time_, especially now that they were so absurdly understaffed.

When Katsuragi returned, Ritsuko was going to personally wring her scrawny neck…

The sudden, strangely vivid mental image shook Dr. Akagi momentarily as her breath caught, for inexplicable reasons. Something about that perception… _Shake it off, Ritsuko! _Akagi commanded herself, marshalling her faculties as one would an army, manipulating her mind and emotions to suit her goals. She couldn't afford idle thoughts or casual silliness to dull her wits. After all, there was still data to compile and analyze, though that duty fell mostly upon Lieutenant Ibuki Maya's shoulders. It was already late though…

_God damn you, Katsuragi Misato! _Akagi fumed silently. _You haven't changed one bit in all the years I've known you. Still acting half your age._ Putting her annoyance aside, she turned her gaze towards the bank of displays and readouts at her terminal. Indeed, there was a great deal of information at her disposal, but none that couldn't wait until tomorrow. She was tired from the constant work, which only seemed to double with every day Misato was absent. Almost by default, Ritsuko was acting as the Operations and Planning division chief, something that while trained to do in dire emergencies, she was willing to admit she didn't have the proper aptitudes—requisite patience—to do as well as Katsuragi. She was in the business of scientific research and application, not…_personnel management. _

"Senpai," Ibuki rose from her station with a graceful extension of her white-clad legs, pausing to pick up her mug of already-cold coffee and dumping its contents into a waste disposal chute, "Is it time to call it a day? I have enough data to begin calibrating for a cross-compatibility synchronization test tomorrow morning."

Ritsuko weighed her options. In truth, though Pilot Horaki was proving herself more useful than Ayanami—single-handedly dispatching an angel on her first sortie—they were still pressed to find a way to reactivate units 00 and 01. Privately, Ritsuko doubted that _anyone_ besides Ikari Shinji would be able to use 01, and he was AWOL, or worse yet, actually dead, despite the Commander's changed stance. Asuka's 02 would probably be incompatible with anyone else, so that left them with one potentially operable unit, the blue giant known as the 00 Prototype, which Rei left in its current, useless state. Thawing out the beast seemed to be little more than a display of solidarity, because since then it only participated in one mission in direct fire. What was further annoying, but out of her hands, was that the Marduk Agency still hadn't found an additional pilot.

She hoped that would change soon. Ritsuko was sick and tired of other peoples' blame being passed off onto her. The buck did _not_ stop at her desk.

Sighing with resignation, she looked at the chronometer on the large bank of controls, spying it between Aoba and Hyuga. Then, to Maya, she said, "I suppose so. Want to follow me for a drink? I think I need a stiff one today."

Ritsuko couldn't help noticing how Maya's face lit up at the prospect, prompting a tiny voice in her head to ask, _what's got _her_ so chipper? Did I say something particularly satisfying? _She pressed the thought aside. Not her concern.

"Oh, of course, senpai!" Maya said cheerfully, working with renewed energy to transfer her console to the MAGI system's stand-by monitoring subroutine. If someone needed to quick-start the system, they'd be able to do it in a snap. "Just let me finish here real quick."

Ritsuko suppressed a chuckle. Being one of the 'Old Maids' of NERV, with everyone else getting married before her, she was definitely feeling _old. _ She wished sometimes she had Maya's energy and enthusiasm. _This job drains the life out of you. _She figured a year here was like five anywhere else, and after working here for nearly _ten_, she felt old, wrinkled, and spent. But, there was cutting-edge science being done here, and in the end, that's what she was living for, just like her mother before her.

_Mother, _she wondered to the heavens, _is this what you felt like before you threw yourself off that ledge, you old hag? _ With abundant gratitude that she received no answer from the nearly subliminal, subconscious question, she followed Ibuki out of Central Dogma, hoping that a good round of drinks would calm her nerves.

…

Aoba watched the two women leave with dissatisfaction, turning to his friend and coworker, who was about to punch out as well. Directing his gaze to the other young man's, he groused, "Why do those two _always_ leave together, Makoto?"

The shorthaired kid smiled despite the complaint. He knew what Shigeru meant by that; his disappointment at being passed up daily in favor for 'women-only' barhopping was obvious. "Come on, Shigeru, cheer up. Besides, don't you think Captain Katsuragi is…well, _sexier?"_

The wannabe rocker and musician-in-training grimaced visibly, transferring his station to automatic control until the night shift came on. Palming his face, he cursed his life. Working for NERV definitely had its downsides. _Such as no time for a _life. He didn't mention his distaste of Katsuragi though, and instead let the thought hang in his own mind: _Sure, Makoto, if you like alcoholics. _

With knowing hypocrisy, he got up from his seat. "Come on, let's go find a bar."

_**Osaka-2, **_

_**Hyogo Prefecture**_

**_One day later…_**

Misato stood next to Kaji as a large pile of papers was unceremoniously dumped onto the table in front of them. The room was poorly lit, and crowded with filing cabinets and old computer parts, but the airport security clerk across the table didn't seem to mind at all, a half-spent cigarette crookedly hanging from the side of his mouth, which was contorted into a disappointed frown.

"I don't know what you're expecting to find. It isn't like we take documentation on domestic travel." The clerk said with a grunt, removing his cig to blow some smoke in another direction. He glanced from the papers to Misato, who stood in her militaristic NERV uniform and cap. "But good luck. You're going to need it."

Misato smiled half-heartedly. "We appreciate the gesture, but fortunately we're not depending on _luck_ to get our needs. But thanks for this. _Tasukata wa." _

The clerk snorted, tossing his cig into a metal wastebasket and removing another Wild Seven from his pocket anxiously. "Huh. Well, I only hope you U.N. types don't hope we'll bail your asses out _all_ the time."

"I wouldn't worry about that." Kaji said with a grin, patting the pile of papers, filled with satisfaction. "Instead I'd probably worry about _lung_ _cancer, _but I'm no better. " His hand went up to his pocket to reveal a similar pack of cancer sticks. Turning to Misato, he added, "Will it be enough?"

"Should be," Katsuragi replied earnestly, staring at the papers, deep in thought. "There should be enough information here to sort out any false information if we cross-reference it with the Ministry of Justice's national ID database."

"The NIDD is incomplete, you know." Kaji reminded her, ignoring the disgruntled airport employee as he walked out with another uncertain grunt. "Ever since Second Impact, records haven't quite been the same."

Misato raised a brow. "Is that your SDF experience speaking?"

It seemed as if Ryōji was suppressing a laugh. "I thought you weren't supposed to know about that…?"

"You'd be surprised…" she muttered almost inaudibly, picking up the heavy stack of documents. Upon inspection, it revealed a long list-table of names, dates, airlines, and destination information for a period of roughly two weeks. It was a massive amount of data, but nothing they couldn't crunch. They would need to sort through that stack to find out where the children went. Simply looking for 'Ayanami Rei' and 'Ikari Shinji' on the list would of course, be fruitless. They without a doubt traveled under assumed names. It would only be a matter of checking names against NIDD records. They would start with at-the-counter ticket purchases. "Let's see what we have here."

Osaka-2's airport was massive, one of the largest—if not _the _largest—in the country. Thus the sheer volume of names was incredible. However, Misato had no intention of sifting through the myriad identities alone, or even with Kaji's finicky assistance. Instead, she would call in her newly-granted powers over requisitioning aid from Section 2 to accomplish the task. It might well take a week, just to compile a list of possible candidates for investigation through the NIDD, but it was the only manageable way to track down the children. Any other method would only take longer, with more opportunities for their unseen enemies to act against the investigation.

_We have to remember…_Misato thought with unaccustomed caution, _whoever is controlling NERV and the commander is watching. SEELE even…_

"Let's get to work." She said, picking up a phone. It was time to check in with the 'family'.

Tokyo-3 

_**NERV Headquarters, **_

_**Section 2 (Security and Enforcement Operations)**_

_**(Same Week)**_

Charged with overseeing the security and safety of NERV's operations and personnel, Section 2 couldn't have been more upset over getting assigned to aid Captain Katsuragi in her search for the missing children—and bringing the would-be assassins to justice—considering that they felt it was her fault it happened in the first place. If she hadn't asked for the children to be sent to Okinawa, Section 2 would have one less crisis to deal with, and one less blemish on their otherwise sterling record. They were professionals; in their opinion, Katsuragi was _not._

"So is this _all_ of it?" Katsuragi Misato asked the Section 2 adjunct, Hachisuka, looking at a page-long list of compiled names from the first half of the romp through the land of faceless names Osaka-2's airport had given them. It was a substantial culling, in lieu of actual investigative data. None of the names checked out on the NIDD, (those that proved _not_ to be part of NERV's investigation would also be in hot water for living under the radar, but it wasn't her concern) so they had their list of potential suspects in the fugitive case.

The adjunct felt like acting surly, but knew his place. So instead, offering a curt nod, he gave the summation report. "Yes. All the names there aren't documented in any way, were purchased at the counter, and were all domestic. We're done with the international flight record investigation you requisitioned yesterday. No leads."

Misato arched an eyebrow. "Already?"

The agent shrugged. "Our national requirements are a lot stricter. Virtually no one is allowed to book immediate passage out of the country without ID. It also wouldn't be _smart…"_

"I suppose that's true." The raven-haired woman looked down at the short list. It was organized by destination and flight, for convenience's sake. They could easily have sorted the names by who traveled together, but there was also a possibility that the children had thought to travel independently, however unlikely. They needed to have their bases covered, and Misato didn't feel like being blamed again for a potentially fatal misstep. She was already avoiding the commander for that very reason. "Thank you for your efforts, Hachisuka-san. I'm sorry for putting your office through this much work. Keep me up to date, alright?"

"Yes ma'am." The man saluted her and was on his way again, to his office down the hall, which joined with the large room now filled with office agents poring over the data she'd handed them.

Left alone, Misato headed several levels up to her office, reading over the suspect list with deep interest. It was only twenty names long, and only four of them traveled on the same flights, on different days. One of the final destinations was Akita Prefecture, to the north…the other, Takamatsu, on a charter jet. It was trip more easily made by ferry, which only would make sense for the wealthy…therefore the Akita pair was so far, her best bet. There was one other set of names with identical destinations, different days, but they seemed impossible to correlate.

The Akita names were also male and female.

It was then that she collided with someone, halfway to her office, passing Project E's main corridor of offices, experiment rooms, and storage closets. Blurting out an apology, she looked up from the sheet. "Sorry! I was being inattentive---Ritsuko?"

The fair-haired scientist with a mole on her cheek sighed depreciatively, shaking her head from side to side as she picked up a clipboard's worth of scattered papers. She looked more tired than Misato had ever seen her old collegiate friend.

"Misato," She greeted somewhat coldly. "You have to learn to at least pay attention to where you're going…it's something you were always _bad_ at."

Something about Akagi's tone, the subtle creases at her brow, and the way she stared at Misato tipped the Planning Director off that she didn't necessarily just mean where she was _walking. _ "Sorry, Ritsuko. Anyways, I'm in a bit of a hurry, can we talk later over a drink?"

"Damn it, Katsuragi!" Dr. Akagi groaned audibly. She narrowed her eyes in frustration and vexation. The expression conveyed her supreme distaste rather well. "Don't just coyly try avoiding problems! Where _were_ you? It's not enough that I have to clean up after your mistakes as Director of Planning and Operations by training a new recruit, but you leave me with _your_ work to do too? That's just unacceptable, I don't care who you are."

Misato was for a moment, lost for words, letting her arms drop to her sides. Such bluntness was unlike Ritsuko, unless she was severely irked. She looked Ritsuko in the eye, searching for a way to placate her after the outburst. She had to settle on indignation, fighting fire with fire. "Why do you put up with it then?"

The other woman's jaded eyes flayed with momentary suspicion, before averting from Misato's glare. "You wouldn't understand."

Misato crossed her arms. She didn't feel like putting up with Ritsuko's qualms today, not when she had a vital key in her investigation, so she didn't bother with tempering her words. "You sound more and more like Ikari-shirei every day, do you know that? I honestly don't have time to discuss this right now, so if you _really_ want to chew me out too, you can do it over a beer later. So if you don't mind, I have an investigation to finish. I can deal with our new recruit in due time."

Without further warning, Misato navigated around a fuming Dr. Akagi and continued on her way to her office, intent of preparing to go to Akita personally to investigate the issue of the undocumented travelers.

…

As Katsuragi's echoing footsteps receded into the distance, Ritsuko finished picking up her papers, heaving a heartfelt sigh of despair. How was she to continue working in this environment if _everyone_ was content with shirking responsibilities and passing them off to her? She wasn't here for that.

_And what she said about the commander…_ Ritsuko recalled with a set jaw. _How dare she talk like that! As if she even knows anything…always acting like we're still in college._

Despite all of this, she would have to persevere. Commander Ikari gave Misato a lot of rope when he opened the investigation. To Ritsuko, at least, his intent was obvious: after such a fiasco, it was enough rope to correct the problem, or hang Misato altogether for her failure. The thought forced Ritsuko to smile with a small measure of admiration.

_Either way, Ikari wins._

End of Chapter 7.

**_End Notes: _** Thanks as always for reading! As you can see, the investigation is picking up speed, and NERV is drawing ever closer towards finding the kids. Will Rei and Shinji escape from the clutches of NERV's puppet masters? We'll see. In any case, in the next chapter: Misato continues her search for Rei and Shinji, while the two children try and find out what the meaning of living under the same roof is. Look forward to the next Angel battle, and the appearance of a certain character that everyone seems to love so much (though I can't understand why).

Please read on next time with _Shinseiki Evangelion: Never Look Back, _Chapter 8, _Fragrance of a Distant Seashore!_


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